Out On The Stoop is my exploration about things to know, talk about or experience these amazing times. The Stoop mantra is Think, think, it ain't illegal yet.
When I participated in AudioMo 2022 I learned a lot.
Sure, making an audiogram is increasingly easier than it has been in the past. But I didn't necessarily want to have a video that had nothing to do with the topic.
The audio is the means of communication. However, when posting audio on Twitter it forces the users to another screen or device.
On Twitter the video stays put.
And for folks that can see the text in the video it communicates the same thing.
This works for folks that prefer sighted communication.
Folks that are learning English as a second language.
Users that cannot turn on audio but want the content.
Not 100% happy with it. I want to fill up the space which is not the point of the video.
The original format of the video is square 1:1 but YouTube is 16:9 aspect ratio.
Nothing I can do about it because posting video on Twitter is 1:1 and I don't really want to make three or more versions depending on the platform.
Putting this here as a time and place marker. Because if things do not substantially change then we are going to have to face this again. And again. And then someday, what the fuck just happened.
Watch the whole thing before you start to have an opinion.
Parsnips and social distancing. I went to the other market because I needed a walk. Had my mask on. I'm over at the discount veggies looking stuff over. I grab about a pound of crookneck squash and some parsnips.
Woman with mask come up to me less than 20 inches and ask "What can you do with those?" I back up as I tell her she can use in soups and stews or as a roasted veggie. She picks up a bag and goes on her way.
Los Angeles Public Health Poster
Here is the thing. In normal times, there is only space for one or two people at the discount veggie spot. I honestly didn't think it hit her consciousness that she was too close.
I, however, are conscious of many things. I as a black woman cannot yell " get the fuck away from me" or, more likely "please maintain social distance from me' in any tone of voice without somebody pulling out their phone and calling 911.
Look how long and how many videos it took America to learn to wash their hands.
I also know that many markets have narrow isles, packed with food, for now. A person would have to wait for someone to leave a section of fruit and veggies before entering it. That ain't happening.
There are recordings in the store about please maintain social distancing. I kept hearing the recording, the other shoppers did not.
Not at the meat case, where we all were stunned at the new prices of soon to vanish bacon, sausages, and pork products. Beef and chicken have hit the $10+ mark.
Which now makes the imitation meat almost more affordable. I'm going to have to work on that concept for a bit.
Trying to make sense of a different reality. Sometimes you have to look back to see a forward path. Or maybe I'm grasping at anything to help me understand why this has happened.
Once upon a time there was a 1998 movie called Pleasantville. A modern young man is fixated on a television show from the 1950's called Pleasantville.
This is the trailer for the movie.
It is a good movie and even though the trailer telegraphs the movie I still recommend it being seen.
But back to why I think it is relevant.
I kept hearing during the election that people want to take their country back. What if they meant back to Pleasantville?
A time where you did not have to consider the other. There was no other?
No African Americans
No Latinix
No Asians
No LGBTQA
No other places, no other countries, nothing but themselves and each other.
You would have a class system.
You would have strictly defined culture roles
You would have permanent employment.
And all would be right with your world.
Because it would be a simple place.
A simple time.
So I heard people saying take American back, make it great again.
Back when? Who is included?
In Pleasantville, not me.
Not ever me.
But you say that is just a movie. I'm making too much of this. I have no proof of 21 century people wanting to return back to the 1950's.
Well, I kinda sorta do.
I can post a photos of people showing up at a veteran' parade in Petaluma, CA with the Confederate flag. I won't post it here.
I could point to the KKK parade planned for December 4, 2016 in North Carolina to celebrate the election of P45 not to mention the resurgence of their participation in mainstream society. Or I could point you to the one in Anaheim, CA.
I could ask a friend or two that moderate comment message boards how much hate speech has increased since the election. A lot. A whole freaking lot.
I could post news articles about the increase in racial profiling and attacks on elementary, high school and college campuses.
But facts and empirical proof doesn't mean anything anymore.
As I have been recently told, I am promoting hate rhetoric. My feelings are not important. Get over it.
So yeah. I am being dragged to Pleasantville where there is no place for me.
By y'all say wait. Give it time. "It won't be as bad as you think it will be."
I love mass transit. It is a laboratory. It is a rolling mental health waiting room. It is the best of us and the worst of us locked in communion.
This is my testimony.
I was gazing out the window, looking at the mountains behind man-made buildings and wondering for the #1875 time what have they witness, what came and disappeared.
I noticed a group of people waking down the street. Two by two. Focused.
There was a sign but I couldn't read it. Then a whole bunch more people started walking down the street. They appeared to be almost all white people.
"That's strange."
I thought to myself. I kept trying to look for a sign or a reason for this to be happening. Was it right-wingers or Tea Party people?
I didn't see any sheets or confederate flags tatted on anybody's body.
They weren't loud, or talkative. They just walked.
Still, I got a little twitchy. Recent events have made everybody a bit more nervous.
The gentleman in the seat behind me was beginning to freak out.
"What all them white folks walking down the street for? It is a protest or parade or something?
You know they don't walk if they don't have to; must be something bad going on!"
And then his imagination leaped like a rocket; pulling up all the recent pain and hurts. He went from zero to 60 in two minutes, getting louder and more agitated.
I'm still looking for a sign. A poster. Anything to restore the silence quo.
This is my fault. I should have had my glasses fixed. I got to where I needed to be and got off the bus.
I crossed the street.
I stood on the corner.
From a small distance, I watched them go by.
It was a walk for suicide prevention. Many had tee-shirts with the phase Out of the Darkness.
Oh. Yes. People been off worlding themselves at an accelerated rate.
And then I kept looking. Where the black folks? The Asians and Latinos?
Might have been in another part of the line.
I don't know. I was having a moment of intersectionality* between mental health, race, fear, depression, the unknown and burning desire for some Blue Moon bread.
Some days are just so dang confusing.
*Intersectionality (or intersectional theory) is the study of overlapping or intersecting social identities and related systems of oppression, domination or discrimination.
This is the start of what I have been working on for about six months. It has changed forms. It will change again but I had to stop talking about it and do it.
This is episode 000 of the Anxiety Road Podcast. The podcast will talk about anxiety and panic attacks, treatment, some history and a wee bit of goofyness to make the information go do a bit easier.
I wish I could do the mental health version of Beakman's World. I can't but I can try to get the word out that mental health information and stigma busting does not have to be total drag.
