Out On The Stoop is my exploration about things to know, talk about or experience these amazing times. The Stoop mantra is Think, think, it ain't illegal yet.
Just wanted to post some fleeting memories about Father Mandela. Certainly I and millions morn the loss of this icon, this teacher and father of liberation to the South African people.
I remember being a youngster hearing and not understanding about Apartheid. I could understand segregation in the United States but the South Africans experienced something so brutal I couldn't rap my head around it.
Later, I remember my college classmates supporting Mandela because it was the thing to do. The concerts. The posters. The discussions in the cafeteria. It is what young people in college did at the time.
We talked.
We
protested. Some of us read and were informed on the issues. Most just
gave our voices to let it be known that South Africa wasn't that far
away from our lives. We understood.
I remember watching late night news shows that actually contained news; sometimes about Mandela.
There came a time when entertainers were asked not to perform in South Africa. Many of them did not perform at the resort. True, there were a few people that refused to to leave cash money on the table.
Some musical performers that refused to go to Sun City lost their jobs and careers. Others that went, well...yeah. They don't speak to loudly about it now do they?
And like the shock of the fall of the Berlin wall, Mandela was freed. And you figure well that is done and we move on.
Except he had more to teach and we needed to listen.
It is hard letting family go. It is hard when you hold the memory and the pleasure of knowing that good people are on the planet. There are those people that lift us up by their smile and their conviction.
It is hard letting go.
I got to give it to him; he is a straight up long distance fighter.
I envision that Death sent him a couple of memos, personal representatives and finally had to go up top side himself to persuade Mr. Mandela that he was needed elsewhere.
No, I don't think he went easy. But I hope it was peaceful.
I have been busting jokes about each and every End of the World (EOTW) event that I have been exposed to; mostly involuntarily. I remember the one by that radio pastor that had his sheeple sell off their worldly goods to help him give us sinners one more chance.
That was kind of cool. Not the faithful selling off their stuff and giving the money to the pastor. It was their choice but I feel bad for them.
If I remember correctly, I was at a poetry reading. I remember CalOkie getting a call from his son Mark.
The conversation went something like:
"Hello?"
"Yes, I'm still here. How about you?"
"Yeah, (laughter) ...ok, love you too. Bye."
That was a nice way to end a day. This is not to say that I take all End of the World days lightly.
On September 11, 2001 I was listening to a talk from Jack Kornfield. It was on Roy of Hollywood's show on KPFK. It was such a good relaxing talk I didn't want to hear anything else so I turned off the radio.
Around 8 a.m. I log onto the Internet and saw the Google search page with a line about a terrorist plane crash. I didn't believe it at first but I came around to it as I turned on the TV.
At that moment I thought I was in the end times. I didn't trust Bush or Chaney to do the right thing. I thought for sure bombs would be dropped and then it would be a free for all Doomsday.
I was scared. I was so scared that I didn't know it. I went to the supermarket and there was nobody there but me and one cashier. Who was pale with fright. We both were on automatic.
I've never seen a supermarket totally empty during prime shopping time. It took a long time for that fear to go away.
I've had earthquakes. Rainstorms that dang near washed cars down the street. There have been fires in the mountains. I've seen humans acting badly.
So...
Yeah. I want to celebrate the life I have with what I got left. If Spirit wants me he/she knows where to find me. I don't think I'm wanted anytime soon cuz Spirit knows I've got a lifetime of questions and clarifications I need to clear up to set my mind at ease.
Probably why I was plunked down here in the first place. Spirit needed a break from the chatter.
I want to go to an EOTW party but my co-worker reminded me that I am not as young as I seem to think I am. I can't get into a club.
"One look at that gray hair and they will see their granny, not a customer."
Dang it. She is right. It is not that I want to go to a swinging club. I don't. Never did. But if I wanted to then my hair shouldn't keep me on the other side of the door.
It is my own fault. I keep forgetting to dye it. I'm sucking up Coconut Oil to help with the brain fuzz. I think it is working. I remember to take the spoonful but that might be cuz I like the taste of Coconuts.
There is the reality that I can't fit into micro Daisy Dukes anyway. I'd cut my hips on those sharp angles. And you can't wear panties with those skimpy skimps.
I'd have a chance at the wet t-shirt spray-off but I'm thinking I'm not supposed to have a dangling gut seeping out from under the t-shirt.
There is a spiritual dance party happening that would be more my speed but it is Santa Monica. Too far away for me.
Maybe I should forget about the community dancing and singing kind of thing. Dancing before dying seems like a good idea but I'll hold off until I loose some weight or invest in Spanx.
Maybe next time.
It is a good thing that the so-called End of the Word is going to occur around 3:30 ish a.m. Pacific Time.
The electric blanket will be on #7. I'll wake up just long enough to check the clock and for bursts of light. Then I'm going back to sleep.
On this day I have what I want and what I need. I try to remember that each and every day but there are some days and weeks that make me want to separate myself from everyone.
I get lost in the woulda, coulda and the pernicious shouldas that I forget that there is beauty around us.
I have proof. I was in a room of people talking and no one really saw what was occurring out the window. I almost missed it because I was scarfing down lunch but my eyes shifted and I saw the light burst through.
I could curse myself that I didn't have a better camera to take the photo but that is not the point. The point is that even in the darkest hour there is beauty in the smallest things.
There is a spot of peace in the middle of turbulence and it might take a shift in perception to see it. A willing shift in perception. But if it happens by accident that is cool too.
It is a reminder to be kind to ourselves and to each other. It is a bit of natural wonder to be respected. It could be my emotional overlay telling me not to curse the bad times but to appreciate the good times more.
I just found out that MTV has music videos on the MTV web site. And that they are embeddable. Why am I the last to know these things? The old skool and new wave are in peaceful co-existence with the hippy de hop.
This is important if you gronk up Big Daddy Kane, The Yeah, Yeah, Yeahs and Wil I Am. Speaking of which this is a video with said Am and Angelique Kidjoe asking for peace, In My Name.
One more week and time slips into a new decade. Well, yes. I suppose so. I was burnt out on the whole holiday thing three weeks ago. It was like I was forced into acceptance when I only wanted to be a by-stander.
It was like being made to go to a party and I just was not in the mood. The party came to me anyway. I couldn't sneak out the door. It wasn't as bad as I'm making it out to be. Some people had it rough road this year. This wasn't that kind of time for me and I am grateful.
It is a good day when you can spend part of it watching episodes of Red Dwarf I never got to see.
So, to close it the day here is a little bit of Maze and Frankie Beverly. I just wanted peace in all it manifestations. Maze featuring Frankie Beverly.
I gotta remember to buy a CD or something. I had a cassette but I played it so much I shredded the thing. Miss them much.
You take a step. And another. If you keep doing that you can find yourself in unexpected places. Happens to me all of the time. This is not a bad thing.
I need a bit of soothing. Something non-toxic and coming from a heart centered place.
This is Deva Premal and Miten in a 2005 performance of Brahma Nandam.
It is time for some attitudinal adjustment. Need to hit some musical therapy for I head to the Salt Mine. Just heard the news about Prez-O and the Nobel Prize.
Speaking of sharp dressed men, this is the beloved Marvin Gaye.
There will be questions. I have questions. These questions are valid but ultimately not important. The shear fact that some media pundits will be hysterical in anger about the President winning a peace prize is reward enough for me.
I'm gonna do my best to watch the ceremony. I do like watching a sharp dressed man taking a stroll.
You know some Fridays it is all I can do to crawl back to the cave and hug the nearest rock. I hug that rock to keep me from throwing it as the stupidity of the week. I woke up and the Muse on Duty said "Curtis Mayfield."
I knew just which song too. An agape type love song that asks us the questions "who do we love or hate and why?" I wish I could find a version with Mr. Mayfield on lead but this is a might fine version of If You Had A Choice of Colors.
In 2008 there seemed to be a DVD produced about Curtis Mayfield and Impressions. This seems to be a trailer/commercial or the DVD.
If you happen to see a copy please let me know what store or website you found it. Legit of course, no bootleg.
There are people hurting in this country. The pain is enormous. There are people asking for help and other people defending their God given right not to do a damn thing.
There are others people yelling and screaming in frustration and when grown folks do that there will be trouble.
By the time I got to be this old I had hoped that we would be better than this, much more civil and certainly respectful in our disagreements. Maybe it is time to lay childlike hope aside. Naw, I can't do that. Not yet.
I like all kinds of music. Always have. Except Opera. I tried, really.
I actually have this song on a compilation album by Buddah Records. Melanie's picture is on the album but I never knew more than I like the song.
Her full name is Melanie Safka. This is a version of her classic tune Lay Down, Candles in the Rain as performed on the Nashville Network in 1991.
"Some came to sing, some came to pray, some came to keep the dark away."
Yep, we have to stand and keep the dark forces of fear away. It is hard but facing fear is hard. There is a lot of fear romping around. More of us have to stand up for truth, integrity and really good chocolate.
Did I say chocolate? Oh, well, chocolate... peace, same thing.
It has been a summer of adults getting themselves into trouble verbally or socially. And no, I’m not necessarily talking about Crowley, Gates or Obama. Here is the deal. I became angry with myself. In one social situation where you would think I’d blow a gasket I was calm and rational. In another situation two days later I acted in anger at the mention of two words.
Two freaking words that I have heard for years. Never had an effect on me before that moment. No, that is not true. The words irritated me but I rationalized it away. Then kaboom! It concerned me a whole lot. There were people that I wanted to introduce myself to that I could no longer do so because I went off.
Let me tell you something. As much as well all try to be on our best public behavior sometimes you muck it up. Ask those three guys, who hopefully will have more than a beer, about how ego, time, space and communication misunderstandings can trip you up.
A 2007 post from Margaret Mason at 43 Folders is referencing the book The Four Agreements, which I have not read, so I’m taking what she is presenting at face value.
Words have immeasurable power, so use them with care. Say only what you mean, and remember your opinion isn’t fact. Silence is better than saying something you’ll regret.
Well, I blew that one straight off but I’ll try to remember that for the next time I’m in churn mode. Knowing better can help but it isn’t an automatic balm to ensure human perfection. That is the thing, we are not always perfect but there are troops read to jump down your throat if you don’t act the way that they expect you to. You can’t. Not all of the time.
I really wish there was a public space that would allow people to see the spectrum of a person life instead of focusing on the surface. When I read comments about race, police, politics or validation of points of view is like swimming with piranha; ready to gum you to death at the first drop of blood.
In case you didn’t know there are a bunch of immature people on the planet. Sometimes that maturity is fluid and mistakes happen. Sometimes folks are stuck on juvenile stupid for life. So what do we do? Instead of shaming someone back to the tenth generation?
According to Dr. Margaret Paul, we are to keep our hearts open and make the choice of engagement or disengagement.
Carolyn at The Grown-Up Child.ca talks about how she learned to shun others as a technique of conflict resolution. There are times when I have acted in similar ways when I have felt there was no other alternative.
And it does seem to be such a powerful thing, doesn’t it? Taking your knife edged sword and severing the threads of a relationship. To me it brings images of someone standing on one side of a rope bridge cutting the bonds one by one while the other on the bridge is forced to run for the safety of land. The swordsman turning their back on the chasm between them and appearing not to care as the other person aches to connect.
I agree with her, it should be used as a last resort. There are some people that you really do have to cut all contact with but that should be at the end of all other options. The reality is that most of the time you will have to interact with the person or persons that is causing you grief.
Tammi Lenski at Conflict Zen writes about how to control and manage your personal hot buttons. There is a passage in her post that I keep working my way through my issues:
Your hot buttons trip you up in conflict because they cause you to misinterpret, close down, lash out or take a side trip down the blame road. They also trigger a set of emotional responses that can escalate the conflict. When you’re triggered, your brain may experience what’s called a “neural hijacking.” The brain perceives a threat, proclaims an emergency and moves into action. This hijacking occurs so quickly that the conscious, thinking portion of the brain does not yet fully comprehend what’s happening.
It was true, I heard those two trigger words and my anger jumped over my normal internal breaking system. There was a jailbreak dash for my mouth. Tammy explains skills that can be used to keep trouble from slipping out inappropriately.
I’m spending the rest of my free time hanging out at the University of Colorado at Boulder – Conflict Resolution Information Source There is a tremendous amount of information at this site. I could spend three week highlighting resources. I’m printing out post by Heidi Burgess post on Active Listening, Anger Management and De-Escalation.
I also will read and review How to Resolve Conflict from Chris Witt. He list ten steps that can help resolve disputes with most people. There is also a list of resolution techniques at Pick The Brain.
I’ll also dig into my pile of self help books, videos and maybe buy myself a Zune or iPod. Ok, the Zune or iPod does not help with conflict resolution but it would make me feel better. Ok, not really but I would get to practice conflict resolution with my inner skinflint. It is all about listening, validation and searching for best solution or resolution of the problem.
Gena Haskett is a Contributing Editor at BlogHer where this post originally appeared.
Sister Helen Prejean and I would agree wholeheartedly about some issues and disagree with others. The one thing I am sure about is that she would not want me dead or condemn me to hell because we disagreed. Still working on processing my anger about the murder of Dr. Tiller.
This is an interview conducted at the Naropa University by Waylon Lewis. What I was impressed by is that she understands the duality of our natures. Sister Prejean talks about forgiveness in impossible situations, what spiritual love is (and it does not involve shooting someone in the name of God) and yes, honor life but pass the BBQ.
Ok, maybe not the BBQ. Slide that gumbo over here. Anyway, for more about mindful, meditative, higher plane type talking visit Elephant Journal.
Long day. Really long day. I do want to howl at the moon or something.
I really need to find my quiet space but ole Lonesome Joe howls every time he hears a siren. This causes each dog in the neighborhood to howl in solidarity.
Now you can't get mad with Lonesome Joe because the Doofuses that get themselves into situations the require the use of a siren are the ones that are are messing with Lonesome Joe's and my desire for peace and quiet and the equal and opposite desire to bust out and run away with the Beagle across the street. That would be Lonesome Joe and the Beagle for clarification.
Yes, seems like we gotta do wrong before they notice us. Speaking of which, here is a slide presentation of The Whispers that expresses just how me and Lonesome Joe feel right about now, Seems Like I Gotta Do Wrong.
Seriously, I need summer. Sunshine. Constant temperature or a non-fat pint of good sorbet. For medicinal purposes only.
On this day lawd didn't it rain. Big gully whoppers not seen in this parts for quite a while. There was a break in the storm between 2:30pm and 4:00pm but soon after the Angels of Los Angeles got to sobbing something fierce.
I've been there. Some days are like that. Got friends going through stuff and tears are rolling down in sorrow because there is nothing you can do to change the situation, only how you think about it. Which is too far ahead because the pain is still there on the other side of your eyes. Hearts are breaking for all kinds of reasons, sometimes it is life that gets in the way. All you can do it cry.
So I needed a rain, love, pain song. Close as I could get was Mr. Bill Wither and Ain't No Sunshine.
People around here will say "We need the water." We honestly do, especially in the summertime. We know we need it but there are people out there driving so fast they are hydroplaning their way to the Moon. I am affirming my blessings that I am inside and not getting splashed by aquatic idiots.
Later on I'm gonna snuggle with a good book or maybe a story podcast and just be warm under the covers. I have all I need for this day and I got the night covered too.
Just when I get almost discussticated** with the status quo of geezers playing mind games with old style and new style dirty tricks along comes a little bit of hope, optimism and new generation can do thinking.
Keep your eyes on the prize - a better America that what we have. It isn't impossible.
I picked up a copy of the Pasadena Weekly and Yoko Ono is on the cover. Styling at 70 something years of age. I'm curious but I take my time reading the paper.
Thursday night I'm in bed and finally get a chance to read the article. Friday afternoon. I'm walking around, I'm not sure what to do with myself. I'm looking for an affordable sushi joint. I turn into the court yard and...
Trees are filled with cards. All kinds of wishes. Some personal, some global and some practical as in "I wish for a hummer, (not the truck)."
We all have our definitions of peace. Hey if giving a hummer to the right guy or girl on the planet will stop war, famine and overall stupidity I'm sure we could recruit volunteers for the cause.
If only it was that simple. We've tried the intellectual approach. Maybe we have to get base level to achieve peace. Just a thought. Not necessarily a good one.
Which is why you can't leave it to me to explain this, so her is Yoko talking about the original inspiration and 2007 installation with a little help from a beloved friend.
For more information about Yoko Ono's Peace Project and the Wish Tree Installations around the worlds you can check out the following:
Yoko Ono has a web site where you can get more information and download images and banner of Imagine Peace. If you want to participate but live no where near a wish tree you can send a postcard via snail mail.
After work I took a walk. I was near Fuller Theological and I saw this stencil:
I saw it from a distance without my glasses and I thought that it was a group of women leading somewhere. As I got closer I could read the writing at the bottom, and one of the monks looks like she/he has been assaulted.
And the connection is that when the forces of power try to suppress peaceful action the world will know. And good people we stand and pray or affirm right action.
Take a moment to send positive thoughts, prayers or whatever your belief system will allow for the safety of the people of Burma.
October 7, 2007
I didn't know about Free Burma day on the Internet. I just wanted to express solidarity with spiritual people standing up to a hostile force.
Apparently so do a bunch of other people. It was International Bloggers' Day for Burma on October 4, 2007. I do know that with each step you move closer to the goal. It has been a long journey for Burma and they have miles to go before they can rest.
The Burma Digest blog has video of those citizens protesting in Rangoon. There are also photos of folks that have been beat, shot, maimed or killed trying to express their rights of free speech.
What are steps are you hesitating on taking to positively move your part of the world forward?
While some folks in Washington, D.C. are talking about non-binding resolutions other folks have other ideas. This is Jabar McGruder speaking at the January 27, 2007 Los Angeles protest event.
I'm a little more than cynical about them getting an honorable response to their request. President fever has hit and there is little incentive to hear them out. If you can, take the time to listen and consider what is being said.
Bear witness to the voices. The voices grow louder.
This is a speech given by Pat Alviso of Military Families Speak Out. She is joined on stage with her family.
She talks about her son currently serving in Iraq and the contradictions of elected democrats that ran on an anti-war platform only to plead they have no power once in Congress. Pat got me thinking hard on this point.
The only time the Democratic party wants me to know anything is when they want me to contribute money. In no way is this a two way conversation. I think they think it is business as usually.
Maybe, if we have failed to learn the lessons of non-engagement with our elected officials. Maybe not. But it don't smell good from here.Once seated into the chambers the RepDems are so scared of doing anything to upset the status quo they put out non-threatening (to themselves) non-binding resolutions.
Dubya has ignored a bi-partisan panel, his military advisory committee and the even his own boys who are trying to point out things aren't going so well. What the hell does a non-binding resolution do anyway but document the passion of in-activity?
To be fair, I'm just as angry at Republicans who all of the sudden have seen the light. Wrong is wrong and why did it take losing the election to see that? Who removed the scales from their eyes? I doubt it was conscious or a latent strain of ethics.
But don't they look good in those shiny contemporary presidential cut designer suits.
For more information about Military Families Speak Out visit http://www.mfso.org
There were only a few people on the corner. It only takes a few to stand for truth but it takes a few more to stand for what they believe. For more information about the group visit http://www.grannypeacebrigade.org
If you would like to do more than honk your car horn there will be a large national protest on January 27, 2007. Many of the anti-war organizations are joining to show support for not increasing troops levels and for planning an exit to this situation.
One of the places you can check out for more info is http://unitedforpeace.org You don't have to go to D.C. There should be something in your city or town.
Lordy, you get one out of the klink (Josh Wolf, temporarily) and another person is about to head in the trial door. I just learned from Professor Kim via BlogHer that Poet/Activist Sonia Sanchez will be heading to trial on federal tresspass charges.
It seems that Sonia and a group of Grannies tried to enlist in the U.S. Army. "Take us, not our grandchildren." Kim has an audio link to a phone interview with Ms. Sanchez.
Honest, go listen or download the podcast. I can't begin to do this justice.
Update: 1/20/2007 Well this is better late than never but all the charges have been dropped and the ladies are doing fine. There is a photo slide show from the Philadelphia Inquire http://inquirer.philly.com/slideshows/News/061201grannies so you can view the (formerly) alleged perps in question.
