Being Productive But Is It Enough?

On my list of things to do is to get back to implementing some of my ideas; writing more; blogging more; more laundry, more recreation, more study of the Dublin Core, more, more and more.

I just got a few more ideas I should work on. But first, a musical interlude from a video I recorded in 2012 and just now figured out how fixed the really bad errors and make it suck less. I uploaded the video only to find out that I have the wrong title to the song.

Being productive but my humanity is showing. It is all I can do to snatch it back. Which is what I had to do with this video. I heard the lyric as "be of service" when in fact the lyric is "mean old circus." It takes me 30 minutes to upload on this slow Mi-Fi connection. I rant and complain but I have yet to call the cable company to begin my bondage to hire priced Internet.

This is Gabby Moreno singing at Make Music Pasadena 2012 called Mean Old Circus



Where was I?

Oh, yeah oppressing myself with the woulda, coulda, shoulds.  Every Saturday I make a list of things I want to do. Every Sunday I take a look at the 15 item list and realize I only had time for 4 of them.

I am doing something. But not everything. Mentally I think should do everything. In reality I do what I can.

It is never enough. Which is a lie.

Be of service...

I have ideas that I think would be of service. That could help people. I think and then I think some more. Who are I to say? What are my credentials? Do I pass the sniff test?

It takes a while to fight that off mental shackles and point out to the not so little internal hater that if I saw somebody else doing this I would not continue. However, I don't see anyone doing this (my idea in this way) therefore I am free to experiment and take the plunge. 

In effect, I have to tell my not so little internal hater to STFU. This take more time than I would like it to but this is how you can lose a weekend.

The sucker is now playing the "yeah you thunk it but you haven't created it yet."

Pardon me while I make a demo video and proceed to bust a hater wide open.

Mission and Pain Merchants

It is the season for walking in the sunlight. Staring at the honey color moon. A day of wanting to pull back from the worst of social media but I can't help but notice more than a few of us ain't got our heads wrapped too tight in the skull.

Yes. I now have to be specific as to which head I am referring to. On account some folks are stuck in Peen-land.

But first, a little music. This is the second band that I recorded at Make Music Pasadena. The band is Dig The Kid and I do because I like enthusiast musicians.


Ah, the mission.  Music has been a tool to help engage a connection with the other.

I'm going to find you. I'm going to love you come rain or come shine. Be mine, be my baby.

Yep. And the there is:

Shoot da load, shoot da load, drill, drill, drill come hard with the thrill.

(I made those lyrics up cuz I don't listen to rap except when a car stereo is turned way up. It always sounds like this to me.)

You hope to find the one or two people that resonates with your vibe. The music war of the sexes is usually presented as a playful non-violent skirmish with no real losers. In reality, it is a battlefield and people are getting killed, maimed and scarred.

There are dangerous people and there are predictors. Also, there are carpetbaggers.

Brief Background

Thousands of women participated in the #YesAllWomen on Twitter to bring to light the minefield that a woman can experience dealing with certain types of men. Very few women don't have a story about an interaction with a man that got scary.

The originator of the hashtag has been harassed by trolls, received death threats and god knows what else. The hashtag has been co-opted by quite a few men using women avatars to spew hate. There are also some men that are very proud to tell you that women ain't shit and deserve all the trouble we get.

It has also been co-opted by a company using the hashtag to sell t-shirts.

There are questions but bottom line for me is that this company rolls in after other women, particularly black women, white women, Asian woman and every other type of woman on the planet put their stories in public view about how common it is to feel anger and threats from (some) men. The same anger that drove that man to kill in Santa Barbara.

Yet this business rolls out a storefront, t-shirt photos and your newly claimed Twitter handle. Ready for business. And yet, there is this mess right here...

This business has decided to make money off of the pain and hire a counselor? This company  wraps t-shirts in a non-profit cloth of respectability. Got a Facebook page as well. Yes, indeed they are gonna work that SEO.

It is the business of being a pain merchant. There are customers who want to buy the clothing. There are people that are actively trying to get the company to change its name. There are trolls that just won't stop.

I turn away and look for laundry to wash. Still, I ask the universe how in the hell did we find our way out of the cave?

My $2.98 Movie Review

I have no problem with checking out the clearance section of a store. This is my birthright coming from a long line of frugal and frugal adjacent people. There was a current 2013 movie on the clearance shelf. African American cast of people I recognize. For almost three dollars cash what could be wrong?

This is the trailer for the movie And Then There Was You:






I don't really watch romantic movies unless there is a dang good reason. It helps if there is some science fiction in it, or a science fiction comedy. Or the woman is a secret agent and she falls in love along the way.  

This is a romantic drama. With a lot of talking. Well, people talking and not listing to themselves or each other.

I don't get to see black folks in a romance movie often so I went with impulse and gave it a go. I'm a little mad at myself that I did but this dang movie will not let me go. I should have Frisbee the DVD after 20 minutes but, naw, I wanted to give it a fair chance.

 *****SPOILER ALERT******

From this point on I'm dropping plot points and spoilers. If you still shop at Target (with cash) or find this in a Dollar Tree DVD bin stop reading if you don't want to know more than the trailer gives away.

Technologically, the movie is well mounted. Looks good but I didn't have my glasses on so, yeah, no quibbles about that aspect of the film.

Natalie is married to Josh. Josh is ambivalent to hostile to Natalie. 15 minutes into the film Josh is packing up and leaving to be with his kids and the mother of said kids he had on the side for five years.

He blames Natalie.

On the positive side, I don't mind seeing men half naked. This works for me. But it is the 21st century and we should be having more naked men in the movies, especially in the shower.

On the negative side, WTF?! I understand that the younger generation of women don't cook but you should still have a cast iron skillet for certain occasions; like when you husband blames you for creating and maintaining a family outside of the marriage.

Now that is an old school form of communication but it is an effective tool and promotes dialog from those that lied from jump street.  

However, there are some of us that are not constitutionally able to swing with the intensity necessary for total flow. For those folks there are attorneys.

Did Natalie call on an attorney for advice when hubby cleaned her out financially? Did she try to get alimony in California after 11 years of marriage?

Twenty minutes into the film and I'm asking these questions. Not one of those questions occurred to Natalie.

Hunky Handyman

Natalie decides to sell the expensive home she now lives in alone. The pseudo estate needs some touch-up so in comes the handyman. Very nice looking man. She tells him what needs to be done, tells him she's broke and he replies "so am I."

Wait; you can't pay the man and he still wants to fix the pluming, the cabinet and the hedges? I'm going with suspension of belief on this one cuz there is more, so much more. After about 40 minutes of yakity yak things start to happen.

Hunky Handyman goes home to find his wife doing the humpty hump on some guy. He goes back to Natalie's place and trims the hedges. Not being metaphorical, real plant hedges. Then Natalie and the guy go to a bar. They drink. They talk.

They come back to her place. No kissing or even a hug. Dude goes home.

Hunky's wife visits a few days later. Tells Natalie to go to this address and learn more about her husband.

No body fluids have been exchanged. No lip rubbing. No massaging of any muscle on any part of Natalie's body. Natalie sneaks in the apartment and find Hunky Handyman fwapping hard in a three way pleasure crush.

Natalie is appalled and runs back home. Hunky Handyman tried to explain but Natalie is disgusted and exit Hunky.

On the positive side; eh, this gives new meaning to gated houses and communities. I will be more open minded from this point on. 

I don't think I will be visiting those communities but if folks are rocking consensually it is much better than making war on somebody.

On the negative side, holy hell what just happened? 

A man's privacy has been invaded by an almost stranger. Sex addict or sex adventurer I cannot say because it seemed everybody was over 21 and it was a meeting of like minded people.

Why the hell did she go there?

There is more but I'm getting upset again just from regurgitation. My main problems with this movie are:

It re-enforces a bunch of bad stereotypes and movie tropes. Dark skinned black man, bad, milk chocolate and white men good. 

Women who achieve are bad when they achieve success. 

Earth mothers who pop children out can heal all with their wisdom.

1. No one thinks in this movie. They talk but there is no clue that actions have repercussions that involve other people.
2. Happiness is tied to fertility.
3. The fear of loneliness makes the people in this movie do some stupid things. If you are going to do stupid things then do more of them so that there isn't so much talking.
4. I don't think you should plan to have children to insure that you do not wind up in an old age home. A whole bunch of boomer people that have kids are about to find out that they are this close to being placed in homes that are barely licensed.
5. I really resent that the film implies women should latch on to men without knowing what she wants, needs and, just as importantly, being able to be an adult for the other person. Not mommy, not drink buddy, or stand in for X.

If ever there was a candidate for a romantic version of Mystery Science Theater 3000 this would be the number 22 film in the series.

Stink. Stank. Stunk.

Cold Duck, Hillbillies and Plantations

Some days I think I've lost my voice. Maybe it is the wisdom of letting some things go. Then again some things you can't let go of even if you want to because the thing is stinking up the room. So I need to let this go free because I'm trying to practice self-compassion. Some of my friends are locked into the stench so I want to offer a way out.

But first, a history lesson. Cold Duck is an alcoholic beverage made up of the dregs of other wines. Way back in the day, the barkeeps would collect the un-drunk wines of their patrons and mix them together for an after hours drink.

Time marches on and a merchant take a more sanitary approach by mixing champagne and other wine stocks into a bottle of Cold Duck. That brew was sold under the Henri Marchant Cold Duck label.

This is a commercial from the 1970s promoting the beverage.


It isn't a toxic brew; more along the lines of Boone's Farm or Asti Spumante. About three shelf's up from Night Train and Mad Dog 20/20.

It is an illusion wine.

You drink it because you can afford it. You drink it because you want the verniers of class; of belonging.  You drink it because you know what you are going get and you are okay with it. Familiar. Comforting.

The buzz you will derive from it isn't a million cell killer. You might even get laid. It will not cause internal system damage like you would from Thunderbird.

You know what you are going to get. You can't kick about not knowing. You have to embrace the bottle to pick it up and take it out of the store. It is a conscious decision. 

Which is why there should be a wine education class for all adults. People don't know about the far superior $2 Buck Chuck. Passable drinking wine and good in spaghetti sauces and chill. There is no class associated with $2 Buck Chuck so all come to the table and can get toasty.

Faith is a lot like drinking Cold Duck. 

You buy into the illusion. You think you have a certain amount of class and you get to tell others that your reality is far superior than their reality because this is what you know to be true. Your book of truth tells you so. And although your book does preach about love, agape love, and love of all even your enemies you have issues.

There is something about it. If asked, you would kill to cleans the world of the unbelievers. So that you can have that illusion of a perfect, classy, loving world.

If a rich hillbilly tells you he is a man of God and he finds queer sexuality repugnant why are you shocked? If he then says that Negros were so much better when they were being cheated out of the rightful sharecropping fees, not having the right to vote, not being free from the company store and still subject to any white person who wanted them to do something and may or may not have paid them for their labor then why are you surprised?

When a singer wants to have a $1,009 meet-up with other creatives at a plantation that presents slavery as a troublesome marketing challenge to be overcome why y'all got you panty's in a bunch?

What, you thought certain forms of feminism was inclusive?

No, my sweeties, no. When you agree to go to a non-educational plantation; in this case, an entertainment plantation,  you are buying into an illusion of Gone With the Wind.

You really won't see the darkies but you fall in love with the house servants. A place where men married their first cousins and keeps dipping their wicks into the slave stock for sexual relief. Where offspring of involuntary or voluntary unions were sold to keep the household peace.

They tell me that the place is so pretty and architecturally commanding that you want to be artistically connected to Tarra and damn the women of color who point out that this might be inconsistent with your formerly announced social beliefs and activities?

Many folks are squeezing on the Cold Duck. What is shocking is who is doing it.

The Hate on Hate Is Opening The Gate

I'm not going to catalog the rampant stupidity passing for justification. I can put up screenshots of people communicating badly in defense of being Christian and racists and how that might not be compatible but, by jingy, they are bound and determined to make it so.

Friends, I will not tell you to be silent.  Do what you gotta do. If you want to go up into the hills and converse with people so that they know you and your kind, go forth. If you want to go to an entertainment plantation then so be it.

Just be real clear on the reason why you are doing it. Cuz you might be tapping into ancestral or advertising memes of illusion. It goes down tolerable. Still, at some point you will have to wake up. You will have to decide how much you want to embrace the matrix of truth, illusion and reality.

The rest of us want to move to the other side of the gate and build a new path of truth and understanding. This requires hard, conscious work.

If certain feminists groups want no part of this type of discussion then I understand. If some hillbillies would like to sit at the table and talk about sexuality, faith and inclusiveness I got some greens in the fridge.

We'll leave the light on for you but will offer you only water. It is cleansing. Leaves no after tastes.

Downloading Memory Lane

It is a day of memories. I'm downloading my older videos from Blip.tv. The web host is focusing on web series and potential money making activities. It is understandable because the commercial side of web video is about to break loose. Either through a merger with traditional media or as a destination in it own right.

There are talented folks on Blip.tv and I want and hope for the best for each and every one of them. There was a letter from Blip.tv e-mailed to some of the vloggers stating that they are removing accounts that don't meet the Terms of Service.

I didn't even rank that letter. I found out via Twitter when Schlomo told Trine who asked Jay and some other folks questions and I happen to see the post and then I found out.

I have 300+ videos on the service. I do have back up copies but there is a technical dilemma. Before broadband and high speed access there was dial-up Internet. 56k modems. 320x240 video was the accepted size and format.

Here, let me show you.




It is a great clip but it is too dang small for contemporary viewing. I need to dig out the original tape/hard drive/CD that it is stored on and stabilize that bad boy. I have hundreds of video like this; many posted on this blog.

Now true, I could upscale it; this one at 360p doesn't look that bad. I got others that aren't going to look good being stretched. 

Come November 7, 2013 all of my Blip.tv videos will go dark unless I replace them with updated versions. 300+ of them. With the day job, my school class and my complete and utter failure as a keeper of home and hearth, I just don't know where I'll find the time.

So I download my memories that, however imperfect, tried to tell a small bit of the story of being in this place. Of living in this time. It is a part of my life experience, not a series for sale. I can't do a do-over on time gone by.

Someday YouTube might do the same thing. kick the generation 2005 type vlogs out the door because it doesn't fit in with the branding and evolution of the service.

I maintain that there is a place for us between cat videos and entertainment. Where we communicate unfettered by commercials. Where we lock into place those people who raised our thinking a little higher.

So I write a bit. Eat a sandwich. Download another video. Repeat.

I'll figure out the rest later on.

Harriet Tubman - Lift Her Up!

It is time for clean up duty. The damage has been done. The Russell Simmons video that was an alleged comedy about Sister Tubman has been pulled from YouTube. I suspect there may be other copies of the video that will be posted again and again.

There are people who insist that it is their right to laugh at the video and call it funny. It is their way of fighting political correctness. Those people are not my immediate concern. 

There is a problem that we can do something about. Nothing goes away on the Internet. That damn title of the video is the most recent search engince citation containing Harriet Tubman's name.

When it comes time school children to do a search guess which item is going to come to the surface? There are currently about 290,000 Google listings for Russell Simmons, Tubman and Sex.

Do you want to be the teacher or parent that has to explain this?

Those poor kids are going to be bamboozled about Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Killer. What do you think this will do to them? Grown folks, we gotta clean it up.

Lift Her Up! 

Here is your assignment. If you have a post about Ms. Tubman that is appropriate then post it on your blog and tell two friends.

If you have a book recommendation or want to do a book review of something that you have read to your kids post it up and tell two friends.




If you know of a video NOT created or paid for by Russell Simmons that can help people understand the real deal lets share that link that up as well.

We need to push the title of the video way, way down in the search results. This is also a good time to inform the young ones that we have a history that cannot be bought with silver and gold.

You can be angry or you can do something about it.

I'll add citations and other info in this post but I can't do this by myself. As many tweets that went out about the video is that's how many good resources we'll need to flush it out.

For People that Cut History Class and Have to Get up to Speed

Harriet Tubman Humanitarian, Leader, Hero Mini Documentary

TeacherTube video on Harriet Tubman as Older Woman
Intro Video on Harriet Tubman Byway in Maryland

One hour video from the Brooklyn Museum's Elizabeth Sackler Center on Feminist Art - Author Beverly Lowry discusses her book Harriet Tubman: Imagining a Life

U.S., State and Local Government Sites

America's Story from America's Library - Harriet Tubman
National Park Service Underground Railroad Monument Page
Maryland's Harriet Tubman's Underground Railroad Byway



For Parents and School Research

Good Reads Book List on Harriet Tubman
IMDB Page on the movie A Woman Called Moses performed by Cicily Tyson
Library of Congress Harriet Tubman Online Resources
Scholastic Harriet Tubman Web Hunt
University of North Carolina at Chapple Hill - Black Abolitionist Papers about Harriet Tubman   
WorldCat Library Search of Books, Audio, Articles and other media

Not Able to Write the Ballad of Duan Huego

I wish I could write satire. I can see Duan Huego galloping into the village; his steely eyes talking in the droopy draw-ed teenagers as he smiles at the peasant women who light up when they see him. Old spice in the noon day sun.

Yes, indeed, it could be a laugh riot. Cept I don't know how to write satire. And I don't do humor well. Still, I would kinda start out with something like:

The Ballad of Duan Huego

Imaging, if you will, the sound of a galloping horse, a mighty steed with a manly man in touch with himself. So in touch with the wisdom of the ages he is all knowing, all seeing.

Cue out of tune guitar, belching and 1/3 hand clapping.

In the little dusty brown town there are people. Some that wear belts and others that have droopy draws. Some that wear skirts and some that wear over sized peddle pushers.

I probably shouldn't pinch a bit of narrative structure from all those Saturday afternoons watching movies like A Fistful of Dollars. I probably can't do that without some attorney drooling over possible infringement.

To appropriate a saying from my UK friends, "bugger off " if any attorney is in litigation mode. I'm not writing it. 

Anyway, back to the non-story story:

I imagine that Duan Huego has come to fix the town. Not that anybody actually asked him to. The man has his public and private agendas and feels duty bound to express one or the other at the barrel of a gun.

First, he caps all the droopy draw-ed young men because, well, it is easier to dispose of young men than to deal with structural and environmental conditions that caused their pants to droop.

Sure, he could have allowed them to continue wandering around trying to find some way to support themselves but that would involve actual contact and conversation.

Duan Huego ain't got time for that. He just wipes them all out and tell the town to start again. Yes, there will be wailing and many of the town members would be upset. As Duan Huego clamps down on the Twinkie half hanging out of his mouth, he knows that sartorial appearances trump indigenous rights of existence. 

And speaking of rights, he....

Hmm. Perhaps Duan Huego doesn't have a Twinkie half hanging out his mouth. It could be a  Chocodile.  Yeah, I like Chocodiles.

Anyway, I can see him rolling and sucking on that Chocodile like a god possessed.

Duan Huego looks on as the town re-allocates money from the schools to the new sports stadium. Not sure who is gonna play in the big game seeing as how he whacked most of the local teams.

But he does support Title IX. In his wisdom, he settles in to coach the ladies basketball team.

One of the women in the town approaches him and ask if he can do anything about those laddie magazines in the supermarket. The ones that have all kind of nakedness and booblification on display at the checkout counter.

Duan Huego looks softly into the woman's eyes and tells her he feels her pain, her anguish and her frustrations of being surrounded by uncaring men in shark-skinned suits. At that very moment, Duan Huego central nervous system shifts to his inner femme.

You know, I don't think they had shark-skinned suits back in the day. Need more research on male fashions in dusty brown towns.

Other women start to approach Duan Huego and they like what they hear. They invite him to dinner, the Sunday lunch and the Fish Fry. Duan Huego doesn't do a dang thing about getting the laddie mags out of the supermarket but he talks so convincingly about the need to do so. Many of the women forget the harm that has been done by eliminating other women's male children.

They decide he is their voice; even though they have voices of their own.

One day, a woman came to town. She recognized the horse. The trail of Chocodile wrappers all up and down the street. The weeping widow whose husband ain't dead but might as well have been since she took up with Duan Huego.

The woman with no name talks to other women about what she knows about Duan Huego. They don't believe her. Some of the members of the basketball team also share that Duan Huego has been coaching a little too much in his after school workout. An elder testifies she has seen Duan Huego with a copy of T--ts and Bits while standing in the checkout.

Hang on, maybe Duan Huego is an asset dude instead of a rack man? Then again, the way he uses his tongue to get what he wants he could be orally fixated. Need to research names of straight male magazines that denigrate women but aren't violently disgusting.

The women on team Duan Huego fight for their man. Who still talks a good game but doesn't do jack. He does put the feel on Maria behind the bleachers as the game is in progress.

Maria has that kind of voice that carries so when the ref called "Foul" Maria followed up with "Oh, God, mmm, Good God Owwwwwww with the ow rhyming with foul.

That sealed it.  The woman with no name was telling the truth. As was the elder and all other women. Everybody could now see it and there was no denying it happened.

Or could it? Yes, even with evidence Team Duan Huego would not relent. Duan Huego himself did a duck and weave as he promised never to enter the stadium again. He still is gonna diddle his woman but this time in private.

No. Not a laugh riot. Not funny. It really sucks. Just like it does in real life. 

A savior by definition is someone who takes your side. Protects you. Doesn't have to be religious to save you or reflect what you believe in. There are people that groups and communities have anointed flawed people to be their spokesperson/public saviors.

Hell, we are all flawed.

And like a true love it is hard to let go of the person that you projected so much time and effort into making what you needed him or her to be. It is the real life version of Juicy Got 'Em Crazy. 

They can't let go. They won't let go. Saviors are really hard to let go of. Because it is hard to say that you made a mistake in judging a person.

The only way to let go is to be willing to listen. And step out of the comfort zone. Not many people are willing to take that chance. It is hard. There is no progress without it.

And that is where we stand at the moment. 

Cue out of tune violin, knuckle cracking and 1/4 hand clapping. Fade to Black.

Kathleen Sebelius on Preventative Health Care Services - BlogHer 2013

Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius spoke at the BlogHer 2013 HealthMinder Day Keynote session.

In this clip, Ms. Sebelius talks about some of the preventative services available to women under the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act; often referred to as Obamacare.






Some of those services are:

An annual well-woman preventive care visit for adult women.

Contraception and contraceptive counseling: Women with reproductive capacity have access to all Food and Drug Administration-approved contraceptive methods, sterilization procedures, and patient education and counseling, as prescribed by a health care provider.

STI counseling: Sexually active women have access to annual counseling on sexually transmitted infections (STIs).

Gestational diabetes screening: This screening is for women 24 to 28 weeks pregnant, and those at high risk of developing gestational diabetes.

Breastfeeding support, supplies, and counseling: Pregnant and postpartum women have access to comprehensive lactation support and counseling from trained providers, as well as breastfeeding equipment.

For more information visit the HHS Fact Sheet about women's preventative health services.

This is one of many videos that I have recorded during the BlogHer 2013 conference. I will be uploading more clips of Secretary Sebelius keynote as time and Internet connection permits me to do so.

Witness to a PUA Failure - My Testimony

Dear menfolk, I like you. I do. Really. Well, some of you. A specific few. Let's just say there are positive lights in the firmament of mankind. Emphasis on the kind part.

Some of y'all are doing things that make the boogie man look honorable. A small percentage of the tribe has issues that need to be work out with a therapist or six months in the wilderness with a guru.

I understand that many of you would like female companionship. Others just want a body or access to specific female body parts. We are not like a car, Ruby on Rails or a jigsaw puzzle. We are people.

The poem below is an interpretation of an experience I had on Hollywood Boulevard. I was just an observer. This is the sanitized version.

No, not really. I tried to remember word for word what the tour barker said.



Either way, you cannot go around and cuss women out because they:

• Chooses not to talk with you.
• Is totally afraid of you, your clothes or the saliva emanating from your mouth.
• Has other things to do that do not include you.

I have to say that the actual man who inspired this poem towers over most women. He is also wide, in a muscular way. Booming voice. Bull in the China shop kind of guy.

If a woman walks away from you and she is not interested,  game over.

Done.

Let it go.

You do not need to blast your disappointment up and down the street and casting aspersions on her character where 30 seconds before you were quite interested in getting warm with her form.

In conclusion, that page in the PUA handbook that tells you to annoy women to get attention? Burn that page. Well first rip out that page, burn it and stomp the ashes.

I'd tell you to burn the book but that is something I cannot promote. But should it accidentally wind up in the barbeque pit don't bother to retrieve it.

Or replace it.

Gabrielle Bouliane Poem To Help Kick Your Butt

Almost finished with VloMo 2012. Trying to find a way to re-vitalize my other blog and make it more useful and enjoyable. I still struggle with it, trying to find the right voice.

I know I need to step up and find a new path. I know good things are waiting for me once I fight the fear and the often debilitating voices of doubt.




From up on high this is a recording of Gabrielle Bouliane, reading a poem from 2009. Her message is constant and clear.

The grim reaper snagged Gabrielle in 2010.

Get a move on and do what you gotta do.

Is Videoblogging Passe for Women?

There are days when I feel like a loon. A loon is a strange looking bird that looks like parts of other birds. But it is a loon. Today I started a Vlomo 2012 video gallery located at http://vlomo2012.tumblr.com

I've been up since 4 a.m. That is part of the reason I feel like a loon. Yep. That's me. I feel out of sync but trying to connect. I think I'm failing. But I am not. I am just tired.

I'm still a loon. Now this does have something to do with my question. Being a loon I got to waddle to get in the water.

I loathe to define videoblogging. It gets folks antsy. I don't want to get into a semantic fight with anybody. So here are a few statement and you can pick out the one that appeals to you:

• A blog that contains a video post on a regular basis.
• A video series that is posted by an internet distribution company that allows other people to watch or post the video on their blog.
• A talking head video using videos instead of the keyboard to express their feelings.
• A person using video to express a person, place or thing and then uploads the video for others to see.

So before you get to the question of "is videoblogging passe for women" you first got to ask is it passe?

For some folks yes. And that is okay. These are the folks that have moved on to professional careers in video or media.

Or it could be that because of the time sink it can be (but does not have to be) there just isn't time after work, school, family, bathing and sleeping to cram one more thing in your day.




Or you have said what you needed to say and are done.(PS - Margaret ain't done, she's made two more videos since this one.)

But there is another group that is hesitant to try. I feel that I haven't done a good job of encouraging women to step it up and truly use video to be visible and express themselves.

I'm not giving up Create Video Notebook but I gotta find a better way to engage women and men to take advantage of this time before the gates are closed and we can't communicate with each other.

Why? Because we have foolish old men who do not understand biology. We have women being defined by men into functional boxes of utility; formally known as the kitchen and the bedroom.

That is never a good thing. Not even for men.

The menopause story has got to be told to the Boomer women. The older women needs to tell the young ones how they survived.

Should reality television be our touch post as how women behave?

Nay I say nay! (See, squawking like a loon.)

So maybe the term videoblogging will eventually go away but I hope that folks tell their stories visually once in a while.

It can be slides to narration to video.
It can be you talking in front of a camera with a memory of your favorite dress.
It can be you sipping a cup of coffee as you talk about last night.

You got a smartphone that records audio and video? That is all you need to get started.

Light Up the Lady Bits Before It is Outlawed

When I did watch terrestrial television there the advertisement of that goofball with the giant grin would be ever present on the dial. So proud he was of stretching his tighty whiteys. 

The commercials were not exactly crude. Just a nudge and a wink to sell natural herbal kickstarters to juice up the male vascular system. No, I am not going to type the names. You know the names by heart.

Y'all know that for the past couple of years I've been advocating, quietly, to stock up on the toys and enjoyments of a female sensual nature.  It is not all I do or write about. It is a part of my life.

And your life too.

It isn't just me, there are a lot of bloggers ages advocating for healthy sexual expression (however you define it) or non-expression. It is a matter of choice. Of options to explore.

I use to think so. Until this week.

Cuz I didn't figure on the high number of biologically ignorant and stupid grown men who do not have a clue about basic biology. Men in  political power who are busy trying to legislate our control over our bodies.

Or the other ones, that think our bodies are a switch. I read something about a woman whose husband watches sports as soon as he comes home. The man does little to communicate with her during the week.

Come Saturday night he wants the bango-bango like it is his blood right.  Not the first time I heard about this and it won't be the last. Selfish brains wrapped up in a living body bag.

Enough about them. This is about us. This is a short video from Zestra using a bus analogy to why some women need a little help when they want to get busy.



I haven't used Zestra. I think I'm gonna check it out. But when I went to look at the web site video page I saw that the video viewing numbers were kinda low. Part of the reason is that they cannot get their commercials aired on broadcast and cable television.

Because broadcasters do not want to advertise a product that advocates women's active sexuality.  There is something wrong about that. But since the dinosaur of old school TV is on its way out I ain't gonna grieve all that much.

Here is the thing. I do want women to warm up their lady bits with healthy options. Like I said, I gotta test this out but more than that I want more women talking about the sexuality in our own terms.

Yes, we truly need to beat back that ignorant ish that is being pumped as taking our country back to a period of repression. 

Sexuality should not be a pain inflicting weapon (except for y'all into BDSM culture.) but the dominion of broadcasters or, more to the point, those that are casting the wishes of broads aside, needs to be broken.

Chip, chip chip away. Take them down. One way is to look at the videos.

Tell a friend. Discuss. If you buy the Zestra oil apply liberally or conservatively as your nature dictates.

My 2nd Disclaimer of the Week

Not a paid shill. I received an offer to try out a sample. I haven't decided if I will do that or just go out and buy the oil. I do want to advocate for sexual expression particularly for midlife women.  That is why I put up the post and the videos.

You Can Learn A Lot from A Mug

I went to the Urban Dictionary because I needed a few more words for penis. Because I want to write something and there might be a penile limit to how much I can type penis.

Mugs and Shirts for Sale at Urban Dictionary

I hit the home page and the first thing I see is this citation and the option to buy mugs. I get the person wanted to make a point. I do.

I get that Urban Dictionary uses contributors to the site to help generate income and it is on auto-pilot. I'm not asking for outrage or action against anybody.

But I say unto you, the fuckers still do not get it or understand.  And as much as the concept of having those two words fused on to mugs and t-shirts irk me I have to say that the next citation just adds fuel to an already burning fire.

I didnt want to date the ho, I was just DTF

Now help me out here. Women are being told you can't have access to birth control. Can't have access to the morning after pill. Can't even be sure that if you miscarry in certain states you won't be arrested.  But plow boys can whip it out day and night. Expectation of plenty and you, female person are considered a ho if you give it up. Hypocrisy 101.

I don't know. Maybe we should go all the way back and have young men raise sheep.


We need to make it understood that rape is not a commodity to be sold. Like it is now being done politically. Like it has been done in the marketplace.

Do what you need to do, I'm just showing you a bit more of what we are up against.

The Older Women In the Room

Well that title will scare off a bunch of people. I know my gray hair did at the conference. But that isn't the whole story. I want to tell the whole truth. I was in transit when I heard that President Obama would speak at BlogHer.

Once I got settled into the hotel, I went to a Duane Reed drugstore and bought hair dye. I was not going to be in that ballroom with the President without flashing some reddish hair. I was going to do it. Until I realized that there was no way for me to clean up hair dye in a hotel room.

I wished I had worked this out before spending $9 on Natural Instincts. Or getting the fact straight that he was doing a live video presentation from the White House.

Still, Little Miss Aging Affirmative got stuck in the hoopla of appearance phobia.

Then I went the other way. Washed and picked out my natural hair. It is gray and brown and dark brown and whatever else ancestor want to put a word in. to the mix.



It was like I opened a can of Raid or something. My friends and on-line acquaintances that knew me embraced me like a long lost friend. Newbies and those women under a certain age kept their distance.

There is a reason for that, check out the video.

I walked a lot in New York City. I saw many a woman stroll down the street styled perfectly. Young, old, trendy. They were wearing the perfection suit of invisibility. Attractive enough to approach but only if you could reach the bar of acceptance.



Time and living have raised the bar on me and I didn't know. Or want to know. I kept on walking and looking at the images of Park Avenue mannequins, the ones in the window. Alabaster white, sleek and implacable in the seller's point of view.

To be fair, there were some onyx mannequins that did little more than hold up the status of tight clothes on young ridged bodies.



Brand identity and storytelling they call it. But it leaves a lot of people out of the narrative.

My bodies story isn't being told. This is not acceptable. Really, it is not.

The video clips are excerpts from my recording of the Blogging Into MidLife session at BlogHer 2012 NYC.

Ann Dunnewold writes about aging issues on her blog at VibrantNation.com
Darryle Pollack blogs at http://blog.darrylepollack.com
Patricia Patton hangs her shingle at http://www.boomerwizdom.com

I'm working on uploading the full session, hope to have it up soon.

Pulling Up the Big Girl Panties

In my heart, I love to travel. It is my head that gets in the way. I am supposed to be packing. Doing laundry. Confirming reservations.I am not doing these things.

I have 12 more hours and I've wasted time. I'll be fine. Once I've typed this out of my system.

Saturday I was in a department store. I turned the corner and saw these items for sale. None in my size. Not that I would wear Hello Kitty panties. I would not. Never. On this I swear.

Batgirl or Wonder Woman? Perhaps. Not that anyone has seen me naked lately but I'd have some explaining to do. Then again if I have to explain maybe the relationship is not meant to be. But if I was with a guy who wore Joker underwear I would be extremely concerned.

I am a hypocrite. And anyway, just because it was in the women's undies section who is to say those are Batgirl's panties? It could be the main Bat.  I don't want to wear Batman's underway. Love the guy but he is a little tense. Sticking with Batgirl.

I have the opportunity to see old friends. Meet new people. Learn things I do not know. Confirm that I am still here. The little kid would couldn't imaging this trip. The depressed adult that wasn't sure it was worth it to go on. The office drone that longs to bust out of the cubicle.

Here it is. This is the time. I can do this. It is okay. I can chose to eat alone or with people. I can introduce myself to the other. It has been a while since I've challenged myself.

I can do the best that I can and for god's sake not judge myself against other people. It messes with being present in the here and now.

I'm scared. In a good way.

So with this I'm pulling up the invisible big girl panties. All I need  now is a cape. Or some rocking boots.

What Is In that Purse?

This year I'm traveling as light as possible. Which doesn't mean I'm going to BlogHer 2012 empty handed.  It just means that I'm thinking about what devices would more than one job?



Last year there was a mobile tech panel at BlogHer 2011 San Diego. Each one of the participants showed what they carried for business and personal use.

Adding up the amount of tech these ladies used in 2011 is impressive. Tablets, smartphones, camcorders and support technology.

I have held off buying a tablet. Not even the Nexus 7 could move me to do so. But I am close. I want a rear functional camera.  I have to have an SD expansion slot.

I will be visiting the Expo floor looking for my hearts desire. I might make some lucky vendor very happy. I doubt it but I can't give up the search.

Gaby Moreno at Make Music Pasadena 2012

With the current xenophobia running rampant in this country wrapped in patriotism it is hard to make the case that we need to listen.

Think. Reason it out. It does not matter now.

Either we unite under one nation or we splinter in to a pseudo sovereign void. Not about the left or the right anymore. You can't white wash a nation. We can destroy ourselves but we can't go back.

I get tired of trying to talk to people who will not listen. And the ones that do listen are just fed up. How much more can you take in one day? You can't keep ingesting negativity.

I don't want to. Not today.



Which is why the spirits and or random DNA cells allow for music. This is just a short clip from a performer named Gaby Moreno. She was busting serious vocals at Make Music Pasadena 2012.

I was across the street at Samy's Camera getting a new memory card. I walk out the door and I hear this voice booming from half a block away.

I mosey on over to Memorial Park and there she was blending that Guatemalan voice around blues licks from some African from long ago. The ugliness, stupidity and mendacity of the world no longer mattered.

We who heard her were bound in a place of music. No ID card required. For more information about Gaby you can visit her Facebook page.

Flipping Out on Yoga

The sun is shining bright and luscious. It is not too hot or muggy. This is my kind of perfection. The doves are cooing. The crows respond with death threats. All is right in my world.

I'm still working my way through the magazine. I  know I am in magazine land because in the table of contents they have more skinny legged young women in skirts blown with the breath of angels that cause cascading curls.

There is picture of a plate of brownies but there is a tag line about avoiding temptation. The brownies are dull, brown and unattractive.

Phflibt. I should go to Mad Magazine to look up the correct spelling.

The good news is that I am almost out the the ad copy area because there is a brown hair big ole eyed girl with caterpillars for eyelashes.  Very shiny, crystal clear peach color puffy lips.

Seriously, you can count the folds and the ridges. No cracks. No jagged bits of flesh. No teeth marks when you accidentally bite your lip.

I'm thinking her lips were shot with a Hasselblad camera. $26,000 for the cheap version and god knows how much to trick that camera into digital still perfection.  Must be a full size sensor...

Wait, this isn't about cameras. Dang it.

Moving On. 

Page 13.  Actual words that lead to stories.

Take a naked yoga class. There are naked yoga classes? I have taken yoga classes and everybody had clothes on. Even the ones that looked like their tights were spray painted on were dressed.

Not sure I'd want to do the Extended Fish pose with boobies dangling as I'm trying to balance my head and feet. And my thighs? I got dents and ridges and splotches and freckles? They move too although I wish they didn't.

And what is the etiquette when you accidentally look up and see another persons labia? 

Page 14. Men use hyperfocal thinking.  This means that their brains can only handle one task at a time.

Naw, that is not true. I've seen them eat and watch sports, eat and watch porn or eat and cuss out the guy who just cut him off in traffic. 

You just got to get their attention in between bites. No biggy.

Page 15. More caterpillars around eyes, this time laced with green sparkles.

Page 16. More women raising up their dresses to show off their shoes. They are wearing mini dresses? What is there to raise?

Page 17. The letter page. "Thank you for showing me that guys like women with make-up." Thank you for letting me know I was an orgasm virgin."  "Thank you for showing me how to dress so my date doesn't run away in horror."

I Am So Confused. 

Page 20. The survey responds that guys want to wait five dates before they have sex with a woman. Oh, hell no, somebody is lying!

This part is straight up fiction. 54% are turned on by a woman's butt. Yet none of the women displayed in the magazine have an ample fanny. Almost none of these women have bumpus in rumpus.

Words fail me. Actually, I'm still stuck on naked yoga. And the reason I am stuck on it is because I think I have a VHS tape called Naked Yoga.

I didn't buy it. I think I inherited it in a move or two many years ago.

If I remember correctly there was a mountain top, lush green lands and a man and a women doing poses starkers. This was back in the 1990s so I'm not sure if there was true nakedness or not.

The dude might have worn a diaper/thong kind of thingy. I'll get back to you.

I'm curious how they did the Downward Dog.

Flipping Out One Page At A Time

I have this magazine in my hand. It should be thrown out, it was printed March 2011. I keep meaning to re-purpose it, re-contextualize and interpret its missives according to my view of life.  Which is a pack rat's way of saying "I'm not sure I want this but there might be some good in it so I can't take the chance of letting it go."

I don't want to mention the name. I don't hate the magazine but I'm not for promoting it either. It is easy enough to figure out with article titles of "The Most Exciting Thing You Can Say to A Man!" "How to Perfect the Sexy Pout!!" "Lust Up Your Underwear!!!"

Once a year or two I buy this mag to find out how much of a sex pot I am not. I know for a fact I don't stand in doorways and peel open my blouse to show my breasts.

Wouldn't work anyway. I wear turtlenecks. And padded bras. Because apparently you can show breasts but you cannot show nipples. Nipples freak certain people out.

July 9, 2012 is supposed to be No Bra Day. I'm all for it if I'm home but I know most of us will contract unwanted and unasked for attention if we try let our girls roam free outside.

Y'all do what you want but I'm not going to be rocking left and right in a white t-shirt down Colorado Boulevard.

I don't have a white t-shirt.

Back to the magazine.

Page two. Don't have blonde hair. Don't need the miracle hair dye to enhance my blonde coloring.

Page three. Skinny jeans. Not skinny, lean or remotely within the realm of size 6.

Page four. More blonde hair dye with puffy lips. I have the puffy lips but they came with my body which is not size 6. Do I get credit for that?

Page five. Blonde girl in sexy black dress. I'm sensing a trend.

Page six and seven. Blonde girl has hands in her hair as a bunch of make-up is displayed on the next page. Four tubes of lipstick and three tubes of foundation for that oh so natural look.

Sigh. Skipping to page 11.

Brown hair girl giving a lip lock to abdominal six pack. What a relief.

What Have I Learned?

In the first 11 pages I have learned that blond women need a lot of make-up, hair dye, skinny jeans and black dresses.

And brown hair girls wear polka dot panties and suck face.

This is a lot to take in. I'm gonna have to meditate on this for a spell.

Okay, I'm done.

I'm going out into the real world.

This Is Bullying and We Are Responsible

I have been trying to post to Twitter and it won't let me. It is just as well. I have a lot to say and I might have left too long a comment at Lynette Young's G+ page. I want to put in my two cents about what happened to Karen Klein.

This woman is a school bus monitor who was subjected to ten minutes of abuse by kids, pre-teens, teens it doesn't matter. The little haters let their mouths run wild and free.



I can't get past more than three minutes of it. It get's worse.

I'm going to incorporate some of my comments that I posted on Lynette's page and more thoughts as well.

I know everyone is extremely angry and rightfully so. There is no excuse. None. But who wants to take a bet that some of the little demons go to church? Get good grades? Present one face to mom and pop and another to their friends? There is a lot of stuff happening in that video. Crowd mentality, No internal filters, playing to the crowd.
 
Pre-teens and teens are not good at considering anyone other than themselves. They are still growing up. Short term thinking. If not for the video they might not even remember that they did this.

You hope the lessons parents try to drill in their skull take hold. For some parents it is all they can do to get their children to wash themselves and not stink up the room. Parents do the best they can but sometimes normal kids do profoundly stupid things.

Yes, there needs to be discipline, as in invoking a personal discipline as a life long tool, not necessarily invoked with a switch, belt or whipping stick. Empathy, which seems to thought of a sissy skill or weakness in our culture needs to be taught.

Again, in no way am I condoning what these proto-terrors have done. They need to be held accountable. Seriously accountable. Wanting to beat the snot out of them is understandable. We have a sustained culture of bullying. What do we choose to do about that?

We caused this. We allowed this. With every politician demonizing the other. With our behavior in the mall or supermarket. In our television programs, games, media we have said the other is lessor and it is okay to "beat them down."

Last week Anita from Feminist Frequency was attack by people claiming to be gamers that she had no right to voice an opinion on the female tropes in video games. To say she was cussed at would be an understatement. It was nasty.

What makes it okay to do this? What makes it okay to spew this level of hate? I don't even think hate is the right word. It is the wicked side of power and control being implemented by people who have none.

 The MarySue has a good write up and summary of what happened and the positive result.

The video below is of the real Karen Klein. She talks about the experience and you can tell her spirit operates on a much different plane. Get over the gray hair and get to the person.

Nobody should have had to have endure what she did.




I was bullied as a kid. It was hell. I do know there is a part of our culture that loves the idea of fairness and the exchange of ideas. But when you are bullied you begin to wonder what is so good about living?

Life is not easy but bullying adds a dimension of hell that is not necessary. If you can survive it (and please do) a piece of you goes into an internal witness protection program. Takes a lot to want to be around people.

Change.

It is almost a quaint notion. It doesn't have to be but we can't go on this way. This means we will need to change how we talk about politics, other people, gender, sexuality, religion.

There will be some that will state that they hate political correctness. Not talking about that at all. If I feel that you are full of shit I will continue to tell you so.

I am just saying we have to model different behaviors. We just got to.

Because I ride the bus too.