Trailer for Baa Baa Land

It has been awhile since I've posted anything. It is rough. Not the reality I want but it is the one that I have.

One thing about reading about history. Whole nother thing experiencing it as it happens.





Still working on the Anxiety Road Podcast. Not where I want it to be but slogging on, slogging on.
So if you are feeling tight and need some dull action, try the trailer for Baa Baa Land.

It can't hurt. Cuz it is just slow moving sheep.

American in the Nexus of Race and Guns Part 5

There are photos of Jeff Goldblum moving through social media. The are mainly talking about how hot he looks for a 63 year-old man.

This fact is not in dispute. On the sexy hotness scale from Zero to 10 he is burning 13.75 and climbing.

Which puts me back in the cross hairs of being an American and gun culture. On a lazy summer afternoon I watched a movie called Mad Dog Time.




IMDB describes it as:

With his boss in the madhouse, a mobster is temporary boss of the criminal empire just as vicious rivals threaten the control of the empire.

Naw that ain't it. There is a whole lot of shoot 'em up bang bang in this movie. It is stylized. Some times shocking. Occasionally funny.

And there is Goldblum being that fine looking, up to no good and cut me a slice self. In this one scene alone you got Billy Idol, Kyle MacLachlan, Gregory Hines and Jeff Goldblum.

It is an acquired taste movie. It is stylized and mounted well but there is a whole lot of killing going on.

If you got the taste for it, it is a hoot.

Americans did not seem to have a taste for this movie.
Americans sometimes have a problem with sex, comedy and guns all in one place.  

It only opened on 18 screens and seems to have disappeared from distribution shortly after release.

It might have been one of those tax dodge movies that was popular at the time.


I don't know.

I do know that I'll watch almost anything with Goldblum.
I kind feel icky that I remember and liked this movie. 

Kinda like the undercurrent of seduction that goes on in the film and gun culture.

Double Nickles and A Penny

Oh my. This is not a bad day. It is ok. I'm fine. It is just that I am older. Maybe a touch wiser but I don't feel any burst of wisdom. I need a couple of gallons of the stuff. I seem to get it in droplets.

A few days ago I turned my shoulders and felt this twang thing. It lasted but a second. I remembered it for hours. What did I do? Did I walk too much? Not enough? Maybe it is the potassium thing? Or the magnesium thing? Maybe I slept crooked?

Maybe it is "you need to keep your lips from any form of chocolate" thing?

What you not so old people need to know is that you will carry your 15, 30 and 45 year old person with you as you age. I still wanna do the Time Warp again. I was on the front lines of One Nation Under a Groove. I will always want to Shout and kick my heals up.




But there will be some days I just don't feel like it.  And that is ok. But on the days when I do want to Shout you should get out of my way and let me get to flapping. You can laugh at me but I am still here.

All of me.

More Lessons About Being Attunded to Your Body

On this day I have an wowser of an ow.  I was pushing my hand cart. There was a slight incline out of the store. All of the sudden my back let's out a scream. Never happened before. Never want pull a muscle again. 

I was suspended between a sharp pain and the need to get home. I'm doing the body inventory as cars whip past me. Decisions have to be made quickly.

I can stand? Yes.
I can walk? Yes.
Does it hurt? Oh yes.

There is a meditation technique where you acknowledge the pain but you don't feed into it. Slow deliberate steps. Gentle breathing out. Outlining where the pain is and isn't. Sending loving kindness to the areas that hurt and not cussing myself out that I tried to push too much stuff.

Walking actually helps reduce the pain but I'm not a big fan of pain in the first place.

So here I am. Home. In a chair trying to figure out my next move.

Last night I had old food in the fridge which is more like a chiller but not really. I had leftovers that should have been tossed.

No, it looks nothing like this. I'd love it if it did.

I ate them.

From midnight to 4:33 a.m. I regretted it deeply.

Only I made fast deliberate steps to the bathroom. Letting go at both ends. Trying to figure out what I did to get into this space. I got my answer around 2:30ish when I remembered that I need to pay more attention to my doubts.

Acceptance.

Not good at that either but getting better. I don't ask Spirit to take it away from me any longer. I just want to survive it so I don't do it again.

Trash bags are standing by.

Memories Eating Below the Line

This past week there has been various folks participating in a campaign called Live Below the Line to bring awareness to living on $1.50 a day.

The goal is to experience what it is like to ration your money to buy food. Not good food, not healthy food.

Just food. 

I feel somewhat detached. Now anything that will help a child get near nutrition needs is okay with me. It is just that...well, I remember being a kid in that situation.

And because I remember I don't think the people trying to live on $1.50 a day for five days really get what is going on. What a life can be like and what decisions go into your head when you don't have enough to make it from one meal to the next.

Yes, it is one thing to say you are spending $1.50 a day when you have shelves full of spices, seasonings and pantry food.

If folks really took it seriously then when they went to the store they would find out about limited choices. Nutrition is not one of them. You can't do $1.50 at Whole Foods; well maybe if you are feeding yourself and you buy an eight of an ounce of beans and a quarter-pound of rice.

Nope, you need to go to the broke folks food store and work the numbers. They are not in your favor.

Childhood Eating Memories

As a kid I've eaten dinner when there was nothing in the house to but a half box of oatmeal and hot water going on day three of it.

Or rushing to nab the hot dog and a portion of a can of beans before one of your brothers snatches an extra one for himself. No time for slackers at a limited food table.

How about when you are handed a $5 bill and you are a told to go to the supermarket to get something for dinner for six people and you are expected to bring change back home. I had a lot of experience with that scenario. 

For the record, I usually stuck with the cheapest pasta and imitation Ragu type tomato sauce I could buy.

Or it could have been a loaf of bread and ground beef. With some of the butchers in the old neighborhood there wasn't that much beef in it. Plenty of gizzards though.

Notice I didn't mention veggies or organic choices or unprocessed meats. They were not affordable options. Potatoes if they were on sale; maybe.

It Isn't Just About The Food. 

It is also watching television and seeing all this food you do not have access to. It is being reminded that you don't have the right to a whole range of foods, taste and experiences. 

It is watching Julia Child on television and watching her make a wonderful meal and not connecting to the reality that some people really do eat that well.

I'm glad I watched her show because it inspired me to want to taste new things. Yet there was a disconnect. I remember being that kid biting into a chicken bone to get at the marrow (chicken use to have marrow in their bones back then) while she was making Coq au Vin.

I and many other kids had no breakfast.  Or it might be that lunch was the meal of the day. Depended on how the day went for the parents; if there was day work, temp work or any kind of work. 

It isn't about the food as much as it is about infrastructure and what do we expect grown people to do when they can't be crowbared into programing, technology or service jobs?

How do you make a living?

How do you take care of the family if you have no money?

How do we keep pretending that we can turn a whole society back to pre-industrial wages and have no clue that we are hip deep into the future?

I don't know.

I do know I was doing a bit of disassociation when I saw tweets about the campaign. It is the kind of hunger you just don't forget. Or want to remember.

Text and Subtext or I'm Too Touchy

It is March 1, 2013.  I thought I'd be relieved that Black History Month was over because pound for pound it has been one of the most difficult BHM that I have experienced in a while.

It has been a month of people behaving badly. Grinding to the last nerve kinda bad. Not enough to wish for divine intervention. But close. And I have been hurt, angered, raged up and resigned to the stupid as normal. You can't hold on to each and every bit of idiocy roiling down the road.

There are time when you need to speak up and fight back. But when you do expect to hear something like "I am to blame for being too sensitive."

What ticked me off this week?

The Bloomberg BusinessWeek cover on a new wave of speculative housing boom. The cover seems to show that Latinos and African Americans are being excessively happy at the money grab regarding housing.

Bloomberg Businessweek Cover February 25 - March 3, 2013

 
There is that old (false) meme that it was the fault of the sub-prime buyers that caused the crash. Not the corporations that sold debt paper from firm to firm. Not the feeding frenzy that had radio and television commercials on every station begging people to buy a home, no money down. Not the Ponsi activities of Bernie Madoff and other corporate con artists.

Yes, I hear you #10,384 in the comments. "It was a Latino dude that drew the picture so how could it be racist?" 

Because the actual article has nothing to do with the cover. Because the images used are stereotypical exaggerations of people of color going ding dong crazy because they have cash. And you know how we get cash, right?

It is another reminder that neo-post racists society is alive, well and prospering. What was the brief that the artist got? What does he believe about the housing crisis or is this a bad attempt to tell up happy days are here again?

Or are we invoking Greed is Good for another run around the block?

Some days I can ignore the goofy.  Like when they painted that 16-year old white model in bronze make-up and called her an African Queen. That has happened before; the fashion would really has a hard time with people of color.

Read a bit of the Black Voices Huntington Post comments. The effort to devalue legitimate objections to the paint job could be heartbreaking if you let it. I wouldn't read more than 10 of them cuz it is crazy making stuff.

There are other days I have to think about how far we've come and how to be vigilant when a justice of the Supreme Court thinks that my right to vote is a racial entitlement. This is an excerpt from Justice Scalia:

The problem here, however, is suggested by the comment I made earlier, that the initial enactment of this legislation in a -- in a time when the need for it was so much more abundantly clear was -- in the Senate, there -- it was double-digits against it. And that was only a 5-year term.

Then, it is reenacted 5 years later, again for a 5-year term. Double-digits against it in the Senate. Then it was reenacted for 7 years. Single digits against it. Then enacted for 25 years, 8 Senate votes against it. And this last enactment, not a single vote in the Senate against it. And the House is pretty much the same.

Now, I don't think that's attributable to the fact that it is so much clearer now that we need this. I think it is attributable, very likely attributable, to a phenomenon that is called perpetuation of racial entitlement. It's been written about. Whenever a society adopts racial entitlements, it is very difficult to get out of them through the normal political processes.

I don't want to be accused of taking the quote out of content. There is an office SCOTUS Transcript of the Section 5 Pre-Clearance Obligation.

Sniff, as if voters suppression didn't happen in the last few elections.

You do have to have not only a thick skin but also a discerning eye for what is being presented. There is intent, there is malfeasance and there evil.

There are also people that make mistakes. Laps of judgement. Ignorance.

There are days when you can't tell the difference.

February 2013 was like that for me.

So yeah, I'm a bit prickly.

Be Alert for Microsoft Tech Support Call Scam

It isn't like we don't have enough to worry about. Scammers to the left and bad hackers to the right. This is just a heads up to those people that don't know about scammers now are calling folks claiming to be from Microsoft (they are not) and offering to fix your problems for money.

Actual Microsoft Safety and Security Center

Or a message pops up on your screen stating that you have hard drive troubles and to call this number or visit a web site. Oh please do not do that. Nope. Bad thing.  What may have happened is that maleware has been placed on your system to mimic trouble to get you to pay for a fix that could be worse than the cure.

Microsoft does not cold call for consumer support services. It is a billion to almost trillion dollar company.  They might have trouble moving Windows phones but they ain't that hard up.

The call or alternate web site is a scam. Read up on how the scammers work the unaware folks and other things that you can do to protect yourself.

I have some ideas on the topic:

1. Install MalewareBytes and run that bad boy once a week if you are on the free version or better yet pay for it and get 24/7 protection so that nothing gets installed on your system without you knowing about it..
2. Install CCleaner and run that as well to get rid of old Internet cache files and cookies you did not want or asked for.
3. Make sure that you have a total protection anti-virus, spyware, maleware protection package updated on your computer. Make sure there is a good firewall included as well.
4. Create and use one-purpose passwords for life critical web sites. This means a separate password for banking, credit cards or anything it would disrupt your life if thieves got a hold of it. 

How I Scared Myself Silly and Learned A Lesson

It was Saturday night and I went for one more walk in New York. I went to the bank ATM and then bought a salad. I was trying to figure out how to pack my stuff preparing to head back home.

I went back to my room. I put everything on the bed and started packing. It didn't fit. I thought maybe if I went to the 24 Duane Reed store I could by a box or something. I walked out of the door and as soon as it closed I knew my wallet was on the other side.

Stupid, stupid I said to myself as I stood in the lobby waiting for the hotel clerk. All I had was my BlogHer badge. The clerk explained that she needed a photo id card.

The clerk called security and a gentleman walked me back to my room; opened the door and I head for the center of the bed where I thought I left my wallet.

It wasn't there. I'm feeling all over the bed and in my suitcase. Not there.

We go back downstairs to the security office. My mind is trying to think but the fear is blocking the connections. How am I going to get home? Where is my wallet? My god, the ATM card is in my wallet too.

The main security dude ask me questions. Exactly where did I go when I left the hotel? What did I do next? How did I get back into the room? In the meantime it was suggested that I cancel my credit card.

Did you put it in the room safe? No. (I didn't because I have a fear of forgetting the combination. Stupid, stupid and in hindsight, dumb.)

In my head I was bouncing in terror. How was I going to pay the hotel bill? Get to JFK? Get out of LAX? How do I prove I am who I say I am?

Dragnet time. I understood, he didn't know me from nothing. The security dude kept asking the same questions and slowly the logic portion of my brain came back over the fear.  I had to prove what I was saying was the truth. 

I had to have the card to get back into the room. I knew my wallet was in the room but I couldn't put together what happened. No one was around me to be able to take my wallet. How did I get into the room if I didn't have it?

I asked that I return to the room one more time with the security guard. If it wasn't there then I would cancel the card.

In the elevator, I heard TexasBeth say that it was a great fashion show. I told her what happened. I remember her telling me her room number if I needed help. I really appreciated that but I was in find it mode. I was in a bad fix and my mind was trying to remember.

The door opened and I hit that bed like my life depended on it. I touched everything. I found my wallet in one of the handbags. I had forgotten that I switched the handbag when I went out.

I truly didn't remember. (Insert maximum amount of cussing myself, I ripped myself a new seam of pain.) Really a bad time to have a midlife moment of mental blankness.

I started crying like a fountain in relief. I apologized to the guard multiple times. He backed out of the room. The main security guy radioed back for him to to check my photo ID.

No problem, I wanted to show him and anybody at that hotel I was who I said I was. It was like being on the other side of CSI. I could prove I wasn't the bad person.

After he left I started crying again. I was so angry with myself. I wasn't leaving that room again until I checked out of the hotel.

Let me stress that the Hilton hotel security was professional, kind and they had to balance trying to help versus allowing some woman enter a hotel room she can't prove she belonged in or trying to skip out on the bill.

Lessons Learned

That radical acceptance thing has to kick in. This is the situation you are in, deal with it and figure it out later. I had to lean on what I knew was right for me versus what the security guy was telling me to do which was to cancel my card.

In this case I lucked out. But what if it had been stolen? I needed to be ready to find a way to make it right. To tell the truth, I didn't have a clue where to begin.

If you can't afford to lose it keep it home. I didn't need to have both my credit card and ATM card. I could have pulled cash before the trip and use the card for day to day expenses.

Use the hotel safe. They probably have a master key to open it if you forget the combination.

Have a back-up person at home that you can contact if you need some help.

I'm grateful how it work out.  I'll travel with more awareness and self-protection next time. Also will invest in brain boosters. 

PS - I did manage to pack everything in the suitcase and two handbags. I got double screened at TSA but I made it home to tell the tale.

Baby It Is Cold Inside or My Body Is Not Happy

I have the heat on. And my coat. If I could find one of my hats it would be on my head too. It is not unusual to have a chill in the morning. This ain't a chill, this is straight up cold. I feel like it is back east weather.

I personally like waking up to temperatures in the 60 degree range. This ish feels like lower 30s or something.

I'm having to put clothes on the heater to warm them before I'll put them on. That is old school east coast living skills.

Dear Canada. I have great respect for your country. I even watch some of your TV shows like Being Erica on Hulu. Please come get this stray wind pattern. Replants some trees. Restore a wet land, ice pond or something.

Stop the fracking of your land. That may have nothing to do with the weather but I just thought I'd toss that out there in case you are listing.

In the meantime I gotta find my gloves. I need to open the refrigerator.

The BBC, Rastani and My Lack of Sleep

On September 26, 2011. Alessio Rastani scared the hell out of folks in the UK and Europe. He also worked my nerves something terrible. I was so messed up I couldn't even read or do anything worth a damn.



For those folks that can't see the video he basically said in a clear, assertive voice that traders and brokers don't care about governments or stable societies. They are looking for profit. The next money fix.

This is not news but he said it in plain English. That was news.

And the work that others folks are trying to do to save Greece and parts of Europe aren't worth the effort because traders and financiers are looking for safe ports for their money, even if they have to stick them in U.S. dollars. It isn't about governments, it is about what Goldman Sachs wants and needs for monetary growth.

What has that got to do with me or you?

Business as usual you say. Well, he also said that he has been waiting for the next drop so he can make some serious bank. A drop that will clean out bank accounts around the world.

I can say with painful memory that small depressions are bad enough. The pure hell of 2001 nobody should wish on any group of people. 9/11+Dot Com bust+Enron all in the same year was quiet enough thank you very much.

And this man speaks of that type of event happening again like a cash money wet dream. It turns out that Mr. Rastani is not a big time trader. He is more of a dabbler.

Rastani is not technically a fraud but he does not roll with the big boys. The BBC did not fully verify his actual qualifications to appear on the broadcast. He is just a man who loves to talk, he wants to be a public speaker.

Rastani got his big break.

And yet,what Rastani said is the truth.

Not about Goldman Sachs. It isn't just that company. Be real. 

We know there are people who would do anything to make huge sums of money. Ethics or societal responsibilities have nothing to do with it. In fact, we are being schooled that no one has any responsibility for anybody but themselves. The rest be damned unless you have money to buy you way out of perdition.

It is the truth that we need to prepare for a serious cosmic money azz whipping or fiscal re-alignment. It is the truth that no one in government or those that aspire to public office has a clue on how to fix this. None. There is no desire to do so.

We are in palliative care mode at the moment. We cling to the side show when the main attractions are just too much to witness.

We need to have alternative sources to our food supply. How are we going handle brown and blackouts? Skills for services or products is going to make a comeback but do most folks have something to trade? Actually no, what do any of us know how to do that does not involve electricity?

You will not catch anyone from this side of the pond say the words that Rastani said on the BBC.  He probably will not appear on any of the business or talking head American television programs. Really shouldn't have been on the BBC.

It makes what he said no less true.

That is why I was curled up in my bed trying to sleep with all kinds of thoughts romping through my head. I didn't sleep much at all.

A Understandable Explanation About Fukushima Reactor

Professor Martyn Poliakoff is at the University of Nottingham does a great job of explaining science topics to N00bs like me.

I've been watching the Periodic Table videos for a long time. This is a video of what is going on with the reactor, the problems about using salt water to cool things down and what is the deal with iodine tablets.



The professor does a really good job of explaining what is going on with the nuclear reactor in Fukushima, Japan. I don't know about you but every other thought is about that reactor.

When I'm not succeeding about thinking about something else I also am getting mental reminders about the 1954 Sci-Fi classic movie Them!



There may be an ad in front of the trailer. Those of you not into surfer chicks you can skip it in 4 seconds. Those of you that are into surfer chick hold on for about 4 seconds and then enjoy.

The rest of us, do what you can where you can.

Poetry In Plain Sight - Radomir Vojtech Luza

I'm still looking for my poetry voice. It went into the poetry protection program. The next best thing is to hear someone read a poem that you would have liked to have been able to write.



Not the experience, the skill. I try to only pick one poem for each poet but Radomir made it too tough; his poems can be short but they have a powerful energy. In the two minutes you will spend watching the video he will take you a couple dozen places and move a brain cell or two.

This is a good thing. For more info on Radomir he has a Facebook page and Moonday Poetry has a feature page on him.

He also has .mp3 and books for sale at Amazon.com

Pema Chodron on Fear and Fearlessness

My neighbors are whooping it up in celebration which makes it hard to be in a contemplative mood. Can't blame them and who am I to tell folks not to sing and dance.

Pema Chodron is a teacher who can explain ancient wisdom for western ears.



Anyway, I'd thought I would share some stuff from Sounds True. Sounds True is a place where you can find inspirational talks and teachings from a variety of disciplines. It is a commercial business but that business is helping others find healing tools and techniques for living.

I have a subscription on iTunes and recently there are a few video excerpts that I think folks would be interested in checking out.

I Will Survive Doing It My Way on The Finally Friday Freakout

We will survive if we can endure. I wish I could have told that those young souls who ended their lives because of bullies. Suicide is not a good option. It is final but the pain that is left behind for others to carry is too much.

There are people that want to do better but first, a musical interlude to mellow us out after a tragic week that will pass into time but not without a handkerchief of tears.

This is Chantay Savage with her rendition of I Will Survive (Doing it My Way)



If you never experienced being bullied as a child or a teen you really don't understand. There are adults who call it teasing, kids being kids or any other word used to explain away one or more people targeting another person.

Age is not an excuse. Youth is not an excuse. We've had elementary school students tease other children into suicide. There is something profoundly wrong here.

If you have never had 15 kids make fun of you in stereo then you do not know what hell on earth is like.

It can be physical. Verbal. It can be emotional. It can be a two for one deal that last for years. Let me emphasis that last part, "for years." That is after you tell the parents, after you tell the teacher, the principle and any other adult.

Some adults will act and some will tell you to suck it up or fight back. Some of the incompetent adults will laugh and join in on the attack because unbeknown to the young person an internal cage is being rattled.

Adults who hear stories of young suicides ask how did their pain get bad? Because the student in question had no place or person they could turn as a resource. There is embedded sexism, homophobia and all kinds of sanctioned body abuse.

Sustained abuse is either internalized, reciprocated or medicated. Death is the ultimate pain killer. Seriously, don't do drugs and don't kill yourself.

Survival and Coping

We as straight, gay, lesbian, transgendered, queer and asexual adults have to put out more emergency soul repair kits and mental life rafts.

We have the power to inform and counteract the negativity and the misinformation.

I like Dan Savage's idea about creating a video channel telling gay youth that there is another side if they can hang on because it does Get Better.

The Twitter hastags #stayalive #itgetsbetter has some good idea such as the repetition of the suicide prevention hot line for LGBTQ youth 886-488-7386. Other folks are offering coping ideas, music and resources.

The Gay Lesbian and Straight Eduction Network has an anti-bullying resource page students.

It doesn't matter to me if you are a teen or an older person trying to hold on praying expectantly or holding on 'til your change shall come.

It might mean actively looking for positive mentors. Artists, poets, dancers, sports folks. It might mean reading or searching for your historical pathfinders to figure out how they moved forward.

Deep breaths. One moment at a time.

Is College Worth It? The Story Part One

I get inspired to dive into a topic by other people. I messing around a few education blogs and I gotta tell you, a few of academicians where having fits about this young man's rant/declaration.

His name is Dan Brown and in February of 2010 he let it rip:



I actually said these words to one of my college professors many years ago. I have mixed feelings about it now. I can see both sides. I lived both sides.

My mother wanted me to get a job. I am fairly certain of this because when she got pissed off at me or my siblings she reminded us that when we were old enough we were to get a job and then get the hell out.

Other relatives also reinforced the message that I should work hard, graduate and then get a job to help out my mother. It was what they believed to be true. I knew that my mother felt that 12 years of schooling was more than enough. It would have been tolerable if I had decided to go to a trade school; which in those days it would have required attendance at night school to learn how to be a secretary.

I wanted to go to college. I wanted an education.

Maybe my mother felt that it was a waste of time. Perhaps she was protecting me in not allowing me to dream past the practical. Perhaps my mother was protecting me from what she believed to be institutional blocks of class and race.

I don’t know. We never talked about it. My mother did not stop me from attending college. She also did not support or encourage my efforts. I was on my own in figuring out how to get into college and how to finance my education.

You see, I was paying attention to what my mother and relatives communicated. I saw how hard it was for her to raise a family on almost minimum wages. Being exhausted and underpaid does not inspire maternal June Clever warm and fuzzy behavior. It was hard. Some days it was too much to bear without anger or tears.

I worked part-time as a teen. I knew crappy jobs. I specialized in crappy jobs like the restaurant owner who did not believe in hot water. Part of my day was spent washing dishes in that joint. In winter.

I didn’t last long.

There were other jobs that cringe in memory. The people with “good jobs” who were miserable, cranky and about to go psycho at the least variation of their carefully constructed empire of cubicle power dictates.

Yet the mantra was graduate high school, get a good job.

I did not have illusions about going off to an educational Disneyland. I wanted to go someplace where people wanted to talk and think about the big questions.

I listened to the voice within. I went off to college. I struggled through disappointment. It seemed like a sped up version of high school. Teachers talking and I was stuck listening: some times to a fool. Occasionally there would be inspired exchanges but routinely I was bored.

It did not matter that I worked as I attended college. The rank troopers like Pepper and Skippy did teach me that there was an educational inequality in our respective public school education.

They taught me that the meritocracy they spoke of wrapped around their necks like a shield might have been their parents’ money and not necessarily any effort they specifically had put forth toward their education.

I did much better with the campus activities and groups. The school radio station, a community silk screen art center, or volunteering. My grade were ok. I just wasn’t good at being a student drone.

The days leading to my dropping out were filled with a counselor trying to tell me discretely tell me that not everybody is cut out for college, perhaps a trade school would be better. A instructor, who did not want female students in his class, did his best to purged out as many as he could.

I took longer than most of my class but I dropped out of formal education and created my own. I eventually found the right schools that actually meant what they said about education and dropped back into the fold, on my terms.

BlogHer Recycling and Other Resources

This post appeared in its entirety in a slightly different form on BlogHer as The Price May Not Be Right - Is College Worth It? I am a Contributing Editor at BlogHer.

Basically, I'm recycling some of my prior content and finding new stuff.

• Fellow CE Leslie Madson Brooks wrote an open letter to parents and future students that ask everyone involved to truly understand the reason for attending college.
• NPR’s radio program The Take A Way interviews Anya Kamenetz author of DIY U: Edupunks, Edupreneurs, and the Coming Transformation of Higher Education
• For a faith based perspective on the road to college there is Mommy Life’s post is college for everyone?
• Barbara at Roaming Writers asks Is College Necessary?
• Karen Burns at Working Girl write a post on Is College Worth It?

System of Survival on the Finally Friday Freakout

I have been doing more exercising because I don't want to internally rust up. I've been a chair jockey for too long. You really do have to move that thing but with a desk job that is hard to do.

Damned if you do and damned if you don't. Seeing as how I don't want to have anything replaced or tinkered with I think it is in my best interest to make time, even if it mean waking up a little earlier than I want to.

Believe me, I'm not a natural early riser. Yet I have to say that I can feel something is good is happening. My body is telling me you should keep doing this moving stuff.



I wish there were more public places where we could swing out and dance when we needed to bust a move. Maybe in a post-venom society. Until then, this is Earth, Wind and Fire from 1987 with System of Survival directed by Bob Giraldi.

Lisa Schrader's Awakening Shakti Video

I might be meeting a bunch of new people today so let me explain that Out On the Stoop is my personal blog. I have a wide range of curiosities and interests. I am open to exploring my world and environment.

So the topics and posts you see are what I have come across in my real world and cyber travels. It doesn't mean I accept or embrace everything presented but it is a moment that I want to pay attention to or share with my friends and extended community.

This is a video by Lisa Schrader, who I gather has a business that involves re-connecting people to their inner light and spiritual nature.



I was doing research on spiritual sexuality for a post on BlogHer. I came across her video. She has a presence that seems to be calm and relaxed. I don't know, I guess the video is a window to a kind of place I would like to live in some day. A place of love, nature and non-hostile community.

I'm not promoting her company or service. I'm really looking and listening to her describe a kind of internal and external place we could construct if we were willing to see each other as equal loving beings.

This is not easy with some of the jokers and chuckle heads on the planet. At times I have been the joker or chuckle head so I have sympathy for both sides.

I guess I'm looking at how still she is and being physically quiet. I have to work on being physically quiet.

It might take time for me to truly understand the enlightenment thing.

Signs of the Discarded - Day 5 Videoblogging Week 2010

It is day five, I think of Videoblogging Week 2010 and for this outing I'm going for poetry, conceptual and bring your own meaning to the party.



We see and we don't see. This is what I saw and have seen.
Not much more to say.

Brain and Cognitive Science Podcasts

I have been known to drift to sleep with my media player filled with episodes of science and speculative fiction podcasts. I do confess that in between the twilight and the snoozing I’m picky about what I put into my brain. You’d think I’d seek out boring speakers to help me sleep but my mind does not like the idea of forced ennui.

Not to say that science is boring. People are boring, not the topic. I have some art lectures that are natural sleep aids. Still, I should make more of an effort to keep up on the science news not filters by sound bites. So I’m waving the metaphorical finger at myself to at least make an effort to find science podcasts that are informative and accessible.

A few months back I wrote about Dr. Ginger Campbell and her podcast Brain Science. Dr. Campbell and other like minded science folks now have a centralized meeting point called quite sensibly Science Podcasters.

If you have a thing for viruses and parasites this could be your kinda place. Science Podcasters has links to all kinds of shows ranging from space, nature and psychology.

Brain and Cognition Sciences

Kerri Smith hosts Neuropod that looks at the brain from the cell up and the chemicals, transmitters and genes that can affect our behavior. At NeuroScene there is an interview with Dr. Judith Lauter who talks about how hormonal balances in the brain develops during gestation may predispose certain brain types.

Natasha Mitchell at All in the Mind looks at the relationship of the mind to topics such as psychology, artificial intelligence and pop culture. The program originates from Australia’s ABC Radio and there is a blog to support the podcast.

Other Science Podcast of Interest

Not all of the discussions about the brain take place in academia. Sometimes they are as close as your public library. In this case, the Los Angeles Public Libraries Aloud series are public gatherings of discussions about engaging topics such as George Lakoff’s The Political Mind: A Cognitive Scientist’s Guide to Your Mind and Its Politics.

Explo.TV is the video and podcast channel of the Museum of Science, Art and Human Perception in San Francisco. There are many great audios and videos and I can’t pick just one but under the Cognitive Science section I would take a listen to musician Laurie Anderson or Julie Yu on her explanation on what is a stem cell.

Are We Alone looks at science issues with a critical, as in analytical, point of view. In the episode Eureka, the program takes a look at what it takes to be innovative thinker like Archimedes.

Leaning Opportunity

If you really want to dive deeper into what make a brain function and you don’t have the time or money to attend a university class might I suggest a visit to the MIT Open Courseware on Brain and Cognition. MIT has free class material and audio recording of lectures and classes on psychology, neuroscience and behavior and brain structures and their origin.

All of these podcasts and recordings leaves me in a state of panic. I think I’m gonna have to get a larger media player.

Imagine It Video on the Importance of Imagination

I'm working on a post for BlogHer that is giving me fits. Not because I can't find the information but that there is so much beyond writing about education, it is about how we can visualize a better world. Instead of attempting to manifest a apocalypse what if we instead attempted to manifest something a bit more inclusive:



This video is from the Imagine it Project. Mainly I just wanted to share this as an bit of a reminder that it is important to be inspired. To see beyond what is visible.