Choosing to Kick the Can

I did a lot of walking in New York City. The more I walked the more I missed home. This is a good thing because sometimes Los Angeles can get on your last nerve. You have to leave it to appreciate it. I missed the palm trees and the mountains.

Then again, you get to see things in a new light.

Once upon a time I used to drink soda like water. I know that I must have drank 10 to 15 cans a day. My mouth ran at light speed from all of the caffeine and sugar I was ingesting.

I was cranked up to maximum speed. Years later I went on a diet that totally cut out sugar. I had to go through a period of detox. Oh, my god was that tough. Headaches. Foggy thinking. Hostility.

When I got to the other side of the detox there was mental clarity. I dropped a lot of weight. My skin was perfect. I eventually slipped out of that diet but I never went back to that much soda ingestion.

Independent of the bottling company's intentions, I have a problem with any governmental body telling folks what they can and can't do with their bodies.There has to be a compelling, life threatening. and cost to society reason for the restriction of food products.

I get it. The cost of treating illness compounded with obesity issues does impact health care costs. We do eat way too much sugar, both visible and hidden. The costs are staggering.

I'm just not sure that banning the amount of consumption is the way to go about it. I have a feeling there will be 3 liter soda bottle smuggling from New Jersey.

I bring this up because here in California we have been seeing bus ads about the 22 teaspoons of sugar in a 20 ounce soda. One of the awareness web sites is the Kick The Can campaign.


There are other voices putting their two cents such as The Santa Clara County Public Health Department and Kaiser Permanente who are responsible for the video.

So what is my point? I think this has to be a personal decision and responsibility. Don't get me wrong. I do support what Mayor Bloomberg is trying to do; the health repercussion of internal obesity are serious.

Until each individual makes an informed decision about ingesting huge amounts of sugar and psuedo-sugars I don't think that you can have a long term lasting dietary change.

The money invested in ad campaigns making sure we remain un-healthy is staggering. Soda consumption advertising taps into our primal connections with community, social life and who we think we are.  Except that we are not runners, high jumpers or always walking on the beach with our loved ones.

Our desire to change must be real and committed. That has to go beyond legislation.

When folks said they didn't want high fructose corn syrup in their food products the industry changed and provided alternative non-HFCs products.  I think the same can happen when there are alternatives to super sugar drinks. I don't mean the diet stuff either.

So if you want to be healthier cut back on the sugar drinks. Or not. But don't leave it to the beverage companies or anyone else to make that decision for you. You are the one that has to live with it.

Looking down at my thighs I got some inner reflection to do as well.

Pulling Up the Big Girl Panties

In my heart, I love to travel. It is my head that gets in the way. I am supposed to be packing. Doing laundry. Confirming reservations.I am not doing these things.

I have 12 more hours and I've wasted time. I'll be fine. Once I've typed this out of my system.

Saturday I was in a department store. I turned the corner and saw these items for sale. None in my size. Not that I would wear Hello Kitty panties. I would not. Never. On this I swear.

Batgirl or Wonder Woman? Perhaps. Not that anyone has seen me naked lately but I'd have some explaining to do. Then again if I have to explain maybe the relationship is not meant to be. But if I was with a guy who wore Joker underwear I would be extremely concerned.

I am a hypocrite. And anyway, just because it was in the women's undies section who is to say those are Batgirl's panties? It could be the main Bat.  I don't want to wear Batman's underway. Love the guy but he is a little tense. Sticking with Batgirl.

I have the opportunity to see old friends. Meet new people. Learn things I do not know. Confirm that I am still here. The little kid would couldn't imaging this trip. The depressed adult that wasn't sure it was worth it to go on. The office drone that longs to bust out of the cubicle.

Here it is. This is the time. I can do this. It is okay. I can chose to eat alone or with people. I can introduce myself to the other. It has been a while since I've challenged myself.

I can do the best that I can and for god's sake not judge myself against other people. It messes with being present in the here and now.

I'm scared. In a good way.

So with this I'm pulling up the invisible big girl panties. All I need  now is a cape. Or some rocking boots.

What Is In that Purse?

This year I'm traveling as light as possible. Which doesn't mean I'm going to BlogHer 2012 empty handed.  It just means that I'm thinking about what devices would more than one job?



Last year there was a mobile tech panel at BlogHer 2011 San Diego. Each one of the participants showed what they carried for business and personal use.

Adding up the amount of tech these ladies used in 2011 is impressive. Tablets, smartphones, camcorders and support technology.

I have held off buying a tablet. Not even the Nexus 7 could move me to do so. But I am close. I want a rear functional camera.  I have to have an SD expansion slot.

I will be visiting the Expo floor looking for my hearts desire. I might make some lucky vendor very happy. I doubt it but I can't give up the search.

Open Letter to Jeanette at Utah Valley Magazine

A few days ago Utah Valley Magazine had a photo of some of the women in the office. You might have heard about it. This is a copy of that photo.

The headline for the photo was Women of Color. Now, hold on those of you who are women of color for just a sec. For those of you not traditionally thought of as women of color take two seconds.

I know. I understand. I got a brand new dent on my desk.  Deep breath, let the good air in, let the bad air out. Ok.

The editor of the magazine, Jeanette Bennett has written her explanation of how the photo and the headline came to be published. This is the comment that I left on her blog.

I wanted to address her question in the post as to why folks got so heated up about the headline and photo and how they did not seem to articulate anything more than anger. And there are some angry folks. Understandable.

But if she was serious about wanting to know why the headline and photo struck a bunch of nerves I wanted to step up and give it a go. It is not the only reason. No,  certainly not. And I know for certain there will be white folks that will be angry about being told they have no color. Never said that nor implied it.

Damn, I hate race based posts that require a book and a half to do properly. Anyway, this is the comment that I left at her blog. It may or may not be approved but I wanted to make sure some body sees it.

I appreciate your efforts to clarify how the cover and headline occurred. I am not here to cuss you out. No hate, no insults and no calls for lighting folks up.

As an African American woman I want to chime in on why the headline and the photo caused people to blink repeatedly. I have to say looking at the photo there was a psychic disconnect.

You know, it has been kinda rough for people of color. We have so many folks that want to be blind to seeing our ethnicity aka " I don't see color, I see the person."  Not really true, but I'm not here to get that fire going. Another trope is "I'm American, dammit, why can't you be too?" I am American with ancestors from Africa. I don't want my history expunged.

No, of course you did not mean for that meaning. Yet your headline or photo did that. In addition, with the bitterness and mendacity of the current political campaigns it certainly feels like open season on anyone not white, Caucasian or so called true American. It was, in a way a reminder of how a term is appropriated by another ethnic group then presented as their own definition.

There is a disconnect. There was a WTF moment that seem to imply resonance with the desire to turn this country back to 1945 or earlier.

You as a writer and editor know that words have a life and an energy of their own once published.  That is what happened to your headline. For some of us it was hurtful because we were not present in that photo. We were erased but the term remained visible under folks that rosy cheeks and straight flowing hair.

It is like have the a traditional Caucasian church choir (any choir, not specify any that might happen to be in Utah) attempting to sing One Nation Under A Groove.  It is possible to for the choir to sing the words. It would be a similar psychic disconnect. It would resonate poorly.

That is what happened. The photo and headline resonated exclusion.  Exclusion sometimes generates anger.  Or sadness. Or maybe confirmation that we have much more work to do to understand each other.

I suspect that there are people of color in your community that could write for your magazine. You might have to look past your usual social networking groups. You might have to shift your perceptions that they are not present.

Perhaps there is something about the mag that discourages contributions from people of color.

That would be a good place to start looking within.

Holding On To the Crack of Doom

The nasty azz dark night of the soul does not care how you got to that dark side only that you stay and keep it company. I keep finding escape holes but I trip up and fall back in.

What helps me to stay out the pit is knowing that a lot of blogging friends and friends in real life are doing great things. I'm happy for them and want to witness and support their efforts.

For example, Lania Dawes new book "What Are You Doing Here? on black women and heavy metal is coming out in September 2012. You can check out her Facebook page.

Liz Rizzo is working on getting funding for her directorial effort Missing Miranda via Kickstarter.

Other folks are starting new jobs, new families, traveling, inventing stuff. What am I doing? Not writing a book. Not directing a film. Not speaking to fascinating people. I blog. I go to work. I fight to stay out of the dark miasma and sometimes I fail.

I'm not the bright shiny penny I once was. At 54 years of age I can be bright but it is hard to accept that people will not look at me if they perceive I am old.

I fought freaking hard to be this age. I know stuff. I've seen stuff. Yet the invisibility cloak others extend is trying to hush me up.

I keep meaning to slap in some hair dye. Not as a way to stay young but to put a fuzz filter on other people's perceptions. Haven't done it yet. I will in a couple of days. I want to spend time with a little red in the hair to see what it is like.

Redefining Success

It is getting up out of the bed. It is doing work for pay. Not because I want to do it but because I am exchanging labor for money. And security. It will not always be this way I tell myself but I haven't found my path.

Part of my path is invisible and the other is down the road a spell. It has always been like that. It has lead me to good places if I remain open.

Redefining success is not judging myself by other people. That part is hard. I know some really neat, kind and spiritually (not religiously but those people emanating a light of joy. ) successful people.

I'm honored to know them. But boy, do they make it hard to be a shlub.

Redefining success is understanding that menopause just kicked my azz and the heifer won. She snatched some of my energy and super powers. I'll get them back but I have to look for new ways to access those powers.

I had to re-learn to write in my own voice. I have to allocate time and not over book or under sleep. I can do it but not all at the same time. Freaking resent that part.

So I am indeed holding on to the crack of doom. Which might come in December. Or a long time away from now. Because if Malcolm Gladwell is right that it takes at 10,000 times to master a skill then I got a ways to go before I can declare myself as an abject failure.

In a few weeks I will introduce myself to people I don't know. They will ask what I do. I will not actually say this but I want to say I'm majoring in survival with a minor in lunacy navigation.

Not far from the truth.

Gaby Moreno at Make Music Pasadena 2012

With the current xenophobia running rampant in this country wrapped in patriotism it is hard to make the case that we need to listen.

Think. Reason it out. It does not matter now.

Either we unite under one nation or we splinter in to a pseudo sovereign void. Not about the left or the right anymore. You can't white wash a nation. We can destroy ourselves but we can't go back.

I get tired of trying to talk to people who will not listen. And the ones that do listen are just fed up. How much more can you take in one day? You can't keep ingesting negativity.

I don't want to. Not today.



Which is why the spirits and or random DNA cells allow for music. This is just a short clip from a performer named Gaby Moreno. She was busting serious vocals at Make Music Pasadena 2012.

I was across the street at Samy's Camera getting a new memory card. I walk out the door and I hear this voice booming from half a block away.

I mosey on over to Memorial Park and there she was blending that Guatemalan voice around blues licks from some African from long ago. The ugliness, stupidity and mendacity of the world no longer mattered.

We who heard her were bound in a place of music. No ID card required. For more information about Gaby you can visit her Facebook page.

Knowing Is Half the Battle and So Is Laughter

Last night I was checking the YouTube to see if there was any goodies I had missed. I glance at the right of the screen. The man was crafted skin tight. Nice looking fella but I couldn't take my eyes off of Mike's chest.

You know, on the list of things I have to develop, my chest area is not one of them.  One night you are able to sleep flat on the sheet. A week later you have bumps. That grow and grow and I really had no say in the matter.

This video is nine minutes of a man working hard for his body.



I can see his abdominal muscles. I count four but I can see the other two under his pectorals.

You know, it is a pleasure to watch a guy work out. It is not necessarily sexual. It could be if my hormones were at high tide. I'm posting it so that when my hormones flow upward again I don't have to hunt for this video. This is called being pro-active.

I'm looking at the aesthetics of him lifting up those weight.  Dude is kinda cute tho.

YouTube seems to think that I need a shape up. How they knew about my visit to my doctor is beyond me. This is like a re-enforced guilty reminder of something, I don't know what.

I do know that I will never be sleek. I have curves. I am rounded. For heath reasons I need to drop a few pounds but I am designed for puffyness.

So I am taking the pledge to eat more veggies this week. Not lettuce. Full green and orange veggies. Because I want to.

And I will walk more. 

And not let the societal pressures of having a perfect body get me down.

Flipping Out on Yoga

The sun is shining bright and luscious. It is not too hot or muggy. This is my kind of perfection. The doves are cooing. The crows respond with death threats. All is right in my world.

I'm still working my way through the magazine. I  know I am in magazine land because in the table of contents they have more skinny legged young women in skirts blown with the breath of angels that cause cascading curls.

There is picture of a plate of brownies but there is a tag line about avoiding temptation. The brownies are dull, brown and unattractive.

Phflibt. I should go to Mad Magazine to look up the correct spelling.

The good news is that I am almost out the the ad copy area because there is a brown hair big ole eyed girl with caterpillars for eyelashes.  Very shiny, crystal clear peach color puffy lips.

Seriously, you can count the folds and the ridges. No cracks. No jagged bits of flesh. No teeth marks when you accidentally bite your lip.

I'm thinking her lips were shot with a Hasselblad camera. $26,000 for the cheap version and god knows how much to trick that camera into digital still perfection.  Must be a full size sensor...

Wait, this isn't about cameras. Dang it.

Moving On. 

Page 13.  Actual words that lead to stories.

Take a naked yoga class. There are naked yoga classes? I have taken yoga classes and everybody had clothes on. Even the ones that looked like their tights were spray painted on were dressed.

Not sure I'd want to do the Extended Fish pose with boobies dangling as I'm trying to balance my head and feet. And my thighs? I got dents and ridges and splotches and freckles? They move too although I wish they didn't.

And what is the etiquette when you accidentally look up and see another persons labia? 

Page 14. Men use hyperfocal thinking.  This means that their brains can only handle one task at a time.

Naw, that is not true. I've seen them eat and watch sports, eat and watch porn or eat and cuss out the guy who just cut him off in traffic. 

You just got to get their attention in between bites. No biggy.

Page 15. More caterpillars around eyes, this time laced with green sparkles.

Page 16. More women raising up their dresses to show off their shoes. They are wearing mini dresses? What is there to raise?

Page 17. The letter page. "Thank you for showing me that guys like women with make-up." Thank you for letting me know I was an orgasm virgin."  "Thank you for showing me how to dress so my date doesn't run away in horror."

I Am So Confused. 

Page 20. The survey responds that guys want to wait five dates before they have sex with a woman. Oh, hell no, somebody is lying!

This part is straight up fiction. 54% are turned on by a woman's butt. Yet none of the women displayed in the magazine have an ample fanny. Almost none of these women have bumpus in rumpus.

Words fail me. Actually, I'm still stuck on naked yoga. And the reason I am stuck on it is because I think I have a VHS tape called Naked Yoga.

I didn't buy it. I think I inherited it in a move or two many years ago.

If I remember correctly there was a mountain top, lush green lands and a man and a women doing poses starkers. This was back in the 1990s so I'm not sure if there was true nakedness or not.

The dude might have worn a diaper/thong kind of thingy. I'll get back to you.

I'm curious how they did the Downward Dog.

Flipping Out One Page At A Time

I have this magazine in my hand. It should be thrown out, it was printed March 2011. I keep meaning to re-purpose it, re-contextualize and interpret its missives according to my view of life.  Which is a pack rat's way of saying "I'm not sure I want this but there might be some good in it so I can't take the chance of letting it go."

I don't want to mention the name. I don't hate the magazine but I'm not for promoting it either. It is easy enough to figure out with article titles of "The Most Exciting Thing You Can Say to A Man!" "How to Perfect the Sexy Pout!!" "Lust Up Your Underwear!!!"

Once a year or two I buy this mag to find out how much of a sex pot I am not. I know for a fact I don't stand in doorways and peel open my blouse to show my breasts.

Wouldn't work anyway. I wear turtlenecks. And padded bras. Because apparently you can show breasts but you cannot show nipples. Nipples freak certain people out.

July 9, 2012 is supposed to be No Bra Day. I'm all for it if I'm home but I know most of us will contract unwanted and unasked for attention if we try let our girls roam free outside.

Y'all do what you want but I'm not going to be rocking left and right in a white t-shirt down Colorado Boulevard.

I don't have a white t-shirt.

Back to the magazine.

Page two. Don't have blonde hair. Don't need the miracle hair dye to enhance my blonde coloring.

Page three. Skinny jeans. Not skinny, lean or remotely within the realm of size 6.

Page four. More blonde hair dye with puffy lips. I have the puffy lips but they came with my body which is not size 6. Do I get credit for that?

Page five. Blonde girl in sexy black dress. I'm sensing a trend.

Page six and seven. Blonde girl has hands in her hair as a bunch of make-up is displayed on the next page. Four tubes of lipstick and three tubes of foundation for that oh so natural look.

Sigh. Skipping to page 11.

Brown hair girl giving a lip lock to abdominal six pack. What a relief.

What Have I Learned?

In the first 11 pages I have learned that blond women need a lot of make-up, hair dye, skinny jeans and black dresses.

And brown hair girls wear polka dot panties and suck face.

This is a lot to take in. I'm gonna have to meditate on this for a spell.

Okay, I'm done.

I'm going out into the real world.

Applying Socratic Questions In Real Life

I don't want to be accused of poaching a good idea so I'm telling you from jump street that this post was inspired by David Straker's site, Changing Minds. Dude is deep into well of looking at the various forms of persuasion.

It was also inspired by some of the nuttiness about how we have discussions in America about very serious, complicated topics.The most recent set furor is about education.

The 2012 Texas Republican Platform does encode the belief system of many Americans. There is no point in denying it. The orginal text as printed and accepted by the convention is:

We oppose the teaching of Higher Order Thinking Skills (HOTS) (values clarification), critical thinking skills and similar programs that are simply a relabeling of Outcome-Based Education (OBE) (mastery learning) which focus on behavior modification and have the purpose of challenging the student’s fixed beliefs and undermining parental authority.

I am not making this stuff up or distorting the text. You can read or download the 23 page document here.

Now to be fair, when asked by Talking Points Memo the Communications director said that the inclusion of the critical thinking statement was a mistake but it was approved and cannot be corrected until 2014.

Like Janis Joplin said, break a little piece of my heart. Except this does not make me feel good. Which is why I like hanging out at sites like Changing Minds.

You know, a Texas school could probably get in trouble linking to that site. This joint is nine kinds of deep kind of place

But this is where Socrates comes in. There is a list of Socratic questions. Those of us that actively use critical thinking skills (or want to) can employ these questions to get at the deeper intent of a speaker's message.

Now you shouldn't waste time on the stupid, the ridiculous or the mean spirit nature of personal attacks. Cause stupid is a finite form. You can't argue a brick wall or a group of people determined to create a system of living drones.

But if you are in a discussion with a reasonable person and want to understand what is being said this is a good starting point.  You don't have to ask the questions out loud but it couldn't hurt.

The Questions:

1. Why are you saying that? 
2. What exactly does this mean? 
3. How does this relate to what we have been talking about? 
4. What is the nature of ...? 
5. What do we already know about this? 
6. Can you give me an example? 
7. Are you saying?
8. Can you rephrase that, please? 

So if you got some brain cells to spare you might want to read the full platform of the Texas GOP and then, at your own person risk and responsibility, apply the questions to what you have just read. 

This is not for the faint of heart. I gave up after question 1.  Many because it is too nice a day to be wasting time inside dealing with a fear generated document.

It is fear based based document. It is about power and control. Hell, it is always about fear, power and control when it comes to modern politics.

Just so you know, I have the hots for HOTS and I'm not letting it go. The rest of you come to your own conclusions unless you live in Texas.

This Is Bullying and We Are Responsible

I have been trying to post to Twitter and it won't let me. It is just as well. I have a lot to say and I might have left too long a comment at Lynette Young's G+ page. I want to put in my two cents about what happened to Karen Klein.

This woman is a school bus monitor who was subjected to ten minutes of abuse by kids, pre-teens, teens it doesn't matter. The little haters let their mouths run wild and free.



I can't get past more than three minutes of it. It get's worse.

I'm going to incorporate some of my comments that I posted on Lynette's page and more thoughts as well.

I know everyone is extremely angry and rightfully so. There is no excuse. None. But who wants to take a bet that some of the little demons go to church? Get good grades? Present one face to mom and pop and another to their friends? There is a lot of stuff happening in that video. Crowd mentality, No internal filters, playing to the crowd.
 
Pre-teens and teens are not good at considering anyone other than themselves. They are still growing up. Short term thinking. If not for the video they might not even remember that they did this.

You hope the lessons parents try to drill in their skull take hold. For some parents it is all they can do to get their children to wash themselves and not stink up the room. Parents do the best they can but sometimes normal kids do profoundly stupid things.

Yes, there needs to be discipline, as in invoking a personal discipline as a life long tool, not necessarily invoked with a switch, belt or whipping stick. Empathy, which seems to thought of a sissy skill or weakness in our culture needs to be taught.

Again, in no way am I condoning what these proto-terrors have done. They need to be held accountable. Seriously accountable. Wanting to beat the snot out of them is understandable. We have a sustained culture of bullying. What do we choose to do about that?

We caused this. We allowed this. With every politician demonizing the other. With our behavior in the mall or supermarket. In our television programs, games, media we have said the other is lessor and it is okay to "beat them down."

Last week Anita from Feminist Frequency was attack by people claiming to be gamers that she had no right to voice an opinion on the female tropes in video games. To say she was cussed at would be an understatement. It was nasty.

What makes it okay to do this? What makes it okay to spew this level of hate? I don't even think hate is the right word. It is the wicked side of power and control being implemented by people who have none.

 The MarySue has a good write up and summary of what happened and the positive result.

The video below is of the real Karen Klein. She talks about the experience and you can tell her spirit operates on a much different plane. Get over the gray hair and get to the person.

Nobody should have had to have endure what she did.




I was bullied as a kid. It was hell. I do know there is a part of our culture that loves the idea of fairness and the exchange of ideas. But when you are bullied you begin to wonder what is so good about living?

Life is not easy but bullying adds a dimension of hell that is not necessary. If you can survive it (and please do) a piece of you goes into an internal witness protection program. Takes a lot to want to be around people.

Change.

It is almost a quaint notion. It doesn't have to be but we can't go on this way. This means we will need to change how we talk about politics, other people, gender, sexuality, religion.

There will be some that will state that they hate political correctness. Not talking about that at all. If I feel that you are full of shit I will continue to tell you so.

I am just saying we have to model different behaviors. We just got to.

Because I ride the bus too.

When Worlds Intersect Is that A Good Thing?

I am a long time traditional comic book reader. Old school when ten cents got me the latest issue of Batman. I love libraries. Movies. Animation. Sex. Literacy. Reading, Creativity. And usually they are compartmentalize and each is in their own silo.

Sometimes there is an overlap. One or two intersections is okay but this...this is popping brain cells. Once upon a time eh, 1999,  there was a comic book called Birds of Prey. Later, there was a television show by that name. It didn't last long but I watched it.

No complaints. It had Shemar Moore.Why be greedy?

Soooo, I'm checking my Tweet stream and somehow wind up at Bleeding Cool where I see Birds of Prey XXX. A Parody.  This trailer is safe for work. Only words are exchanged and only one of them is heated. Can't trust that Huntress for nothing. She does drop a F-Bomb.

How? Why? Nooo!? Well, maybe. It is like the Star Trek Enterprise XXX parody. On the one hand is nothing sacred? On the other hand I have always had half a lobe to do Picard.

Which is wrong, wrong.

For the record, I have only seen the Star Trek Enterprise XXX trailer. It seems like they tried to be respectful. I have never seen any of the XXX parodies and don't think I am going to be able to for quite some time. Not high on the bucket list.

Back to the Birds of Prey. So they have Oracle in the wheelchair. Oracle is gonna get busy later and not just floating through Ethernet cables either. She is neither PC or Mac, Oracle's rig is custom built.

(Okay, quick recap on the back story: In an alternate dimension, Oracle is a later day Barbara Gordon who got the hell and the use of her legs beat out of her by The Joker. He might have done other things but that depends on the interpretation by the specific artist who wrote the book at the time.

I hate that guy. Straight up hate The Joker. Nothing funny about that damn clown.

Barbara, who was a librarian reclaim her mantle as crime fighting Information Mistress of the Digits. Then the other Birds of Prey, The Huntress and Black Canary, get to chase and capture villains and make Gotham or New Gotham a grand place to live. )

Hence, my dilemma. Oracle still a librarian fighting crime from a wheelchair (this is important for story continuity. Later on DC had Barbara walking again to resume being Batgirl. The Wheeled Sisters did not take kindly to the change).

Oracle is getting some non-combat action and it ain't with Richard Grayson. Double score. Except that she is bonking a detective in a nookie film. Let us not forget that her pop is Commissioner Gordon.

Why must I be tormented so?  I love Batman, I do. Iconic character.  But dig it, there are the comic books, the 1960s series, movies starting from the 1940s on up. Major props to the animated series. That isn't a typo. You have Batman, the Animated Series, The Brave and The Bold, The Batman, Batman Beyond not to mention all the action he's got in Justice League.

Batgirl has is third season appearances in the early 1960 Batman shows, the cancelled series and guest star shots as an adult in some of the animated series.

DC come on! This is the only full length live action movie with a super heroine. It is a movie that most people can only watch when the lights are low and the Two Buck Chuck is chilled.

So I have been told.

There should be a Black Canary animated movie. You can have Ollie (Green Arrow) in it but let the girl clear her pipes. I know you made a Wonder Woman animated movie that didn't make bizillons of dollars but I don't think you advertized the movie that well. I would have bought it if I could have found it at Target. Water over the bridge.

Dang it, forget that there are 14 to 18 year old boys for a moment. Girl people like action movies too. I am not against the action in the parody but you know what I am saying?.

What am I saying? I lost track.

I'll watch the trailer one more time just to cement that I saw it. It might be important one day. You never know. This isn't wrong. But it is just not right.

Once More Into the Daylight

I really don't want to go outside. Because once I do I have to commit to facing another day. I have to go through this day in order to get to Saturday and Sunday.

I have to put on the big girl panties and deal with people, rules, conflicting rules, being held accountable by the conflicting rules and then taking a huge breath and remembering it really does not matter.

Not one bit.

I bought a magazine called Light of Consciousness. I think it is for folks that want to apply Buddhist principles in everyday life. I'm not a Buddhist but I'm willing to learn anything to help suppress my desire to beat stupid people with a wet noodle.

A wet noodle attached to a Cat-of-9 tails.

In Memory of Fred and Tears of Remembrance

Each generation brings something new to the party. What we held true 20 years ago gets pushed to the past and then evaporated. It is hard to understand until you live it. I have my memories and they can't really be touched by re-inventors.

Most of the time.

This is a re-mix video by PBS Digital Studios called Garden of the Mind. It is some words and moments  with a neighbor.



It has been a good long while since Fred Rogers has passed on. Certainly a icon in children's television and as an advocate of quality television.

I remember seeing Mr. Rogers talking to Congress about the need for a national educational television system. In that quiet powerful way the real Fred Rogers got the money.


I've seen Fred parodied by comedians and some were less than kind.  You had to work hard to find people who would publicly said they didn't care for the man or his show. Sure, they would have had to been a couple of folks. But not many.

On of my favorite stories is when his car was stolen on day one and on day two it was returned with an apology because they didn't know it was "his car."

Truth be told, I barely hear the music in the video. I think what struck me was his reminder to be creative, to explore, to be open.

To be kind. Civil. Engaged.

I'm tearing up again. That man has me in tears and it is not logical.

I gotta brace up and get on with the day.

Confirmed - I'm Not In the One Percent

The appointment was for 4:30 p.m. I get there at 4:10 p.m. and wait for about an hour or so. In the meantime I get to read a 1% magazine. I am sure that the 1% folks read this magazine because there were ads in it for jewelry that crested around the $367,000 level.

I'm not into polished rocks but I have to say there was not a cubic zirconia in the entire magazine. Fire stones and ice laced with golden circles. There was skimpy food served on porcelain . There were rich guys on private islands trying to keep the natives from encroaching on their land.

There were men in pinstripe suits so tight they couldn't pass gas. You could tell they steamed those male models to make sure not a fleck of dirt got near the cloth of the hem of that suit.

Truth be told I was focusing on the men because if you see one blonde woman wearing an evening gown on a surf board you have seen plenty.

No ads for plastic surgery or lap bands. No ads for ED. There were a lot of stories about exclusive hotels that have rooms for $2, 500+ a night.

Photographically the place looked magical. Until it got to the food. If I'm paying $100 a meal there has got to be some food on the plate. I like impressionistic paintings but I just can't do impressionistic dinning.

I read that sucker from stem to stern and not only did I learn that I am not worthy of the finer things in life I am content in my undesirability to swig up on high tone white rum. Unless you are going to mix some in rum raisin ice cream or rum water ice.

See, pedestrian. I know it.

This is not to say that if my long lost Sugar Daddy, or as I would prefer it, My patron and artistic supporter, happen to show up and offered me a weekend on the island I'd refuse.

I would not.

But we'd be stopping at the market to pick up some real food before we board the flight.

Passing Through June Gloom

June Gloom here in Los Angeles is when the mornings are really cloudy. It is cool outside. It is blah. As the day moves on it get sunny and bright. The warmth hits the body and life is good again.

But you have to pass through June Gloom.

Not only a weather condition but a reality of life. You can BS yourself into saying you want make a change or you can just up and do it.

Most folks would rather not. People change because they are in trouble and they have no choice in the matter. I am of the opinion you should not wait for life to kick your tushy in order to make it happen. Life kicks kinda hard and it is usually the same lesson I thought I learned the last time.

I know I have to put new things in place. I am ready. I've been ready but that fear monster creeps up on you. The "woulda, coulda, shoulda's" are hitting me hard now.

I am being cryptic and I don't mean to be. I would like to take different kinds of multimedia storytelling classes. That can happen; I just need to find one that I can afford and I don't need to drive to get there.

I need to clear out old unused ideas and how it use to be.  Those days are gone. What do I want to do now?

What I know is that the world I was prepped for is almost gone. Since I am planning to be around for a bunch more years what do I do? With what skills?

How many tribes will I have to hook up with that will have me? 

I'm thinking hard about it and it is still the June Gloom that envelopes me.

I know it.

I am not a patient person. I am still working on that lesson. I still am rubbing my tushy.

Vlogging While Brown 2011 Panel Session Video

When the blahs hit and you think there isn't anything to conjure up I say dive into the external hard drive video shoe box and see what you got.

The Blogging While Brown Conference 2012 is happening in Philadelphia this year. I can't make the trip but I do have some video to share.

This is a session about Videoblogging while Brown. This clip talks about the need to have a thick skin when you present yourself to the viewing public.


The Vlogging While Brown Panel participants were Roshini Cope, Andrea Tasia and Lydia Cotton.

Just two quick points. There is all kinds of ways to do videoblogging. There is talking head, personal narrative, advocacy, travel, cooking,  pick a topic and somebody has done a video on it. 

You do want to put on your internal slickers to repel some the bile that could come your way.

A Study of Los Angeles in Four Seconds

I was sitting here wanting not to be sitting here not being productive. I'm looking through old videos I hadn't taken the time to take a second look to review. One of my camcorders has a feature that takes a four second video snapshots.

So I am looking at all these files and getting more depressed. Not depressed enough to do the dishes but  I'm down kinda low.

I start pulling the videos down into my editing time line and there have certain colors and sounds. I notice this and start to play with what I am seeing.

This is good. Play is good. It is good to remember why you invest time and money into something that you actually enjoy.

This is a sense piece. Seeing Los Angeles in a certain color pallet I guess. Not something I intentionally tried to do. It feels right and I should do this again.

After the dishes.

A Moment to Laugh Freely

We use to have fun. You know? We use to laugh freely and didn't care what anybody thought. When I look at this video I remember when I was this open and ready to laugh and just enjoy the moment.



It isn't about the erotic cookies. To me, it is about being engage in work that make you happy.

We have creaky old hypocritical men trying to dictate what we can do with our bodies. Trying to re-introduce shame. This is a video by Philip Campbell for the Montreal Gazette.


Let's not help them do that. Let's laugh in their sad faces and find joy, how ever you define it. But if you want to kick it with Roscoe Palmer that is okay by me.
No shame. A bit of peak a boo but more "oo la la".

Mainly I just wanted to share her laughter.

Feels Good and Is Good for You I'm Told

I can't take credit for this one cuz I can't design worth a dang.  I don't have this specific body part but I'm a frugal kinda gal. Save a penny, save a dollar I say.

Via Mike Allgood's Google Plus Page

 I saw this on Google+ and I support this message. I'm not running for election, just another supporter for erections and/or orgasms.

Well, truthfully I would be more partial to orgasms.  Anyway, in other news I can sympathize with this blog post . Intriguing but truly NSFW post on the demotion of the 2nd head.

The Book Wall at The L.A. Times Festival of Books

A moment away from the sensual pleasure of life to one less tactile. It has been a while since I've posted a video. Lot's of crap going on behind the screen I can't get into.

I still record and take photos but seems like I never have time to work on posting any more. Trying to change that by making this effort.

This is a video impression of the book wall at the Los Angeles Times Festival of Books. All kinds of authors and name of books were scribbled, slagged and over powered those that needed to write in tiny print.

Lots of Hungry Games. Ayn Rand supporters. Bible thumpers with specific chapter and verse.  Have to say there were also a lot of Diary of a Wimpy Kid supporters as well.

Live like there is no tomorrow but stock up just in case.

Searching for Auditory Pleasures Part 2

After a long day at the salt mine I get to come home and look for non-skeezy and titillating podcasts. Friends, it ain't easy but somebody has to do it. I think I was flapping my jaws about some sexually repressive outrage. Next thing you know I am trying to avoid malware and bad sex writers.

That might be one and the same thing. You can learn a lot by seeking out erotic podcasts.

I have to be careful what I listen to because it could wind up in a dream. I got plenty enough action. So much so I have a hard time waking up. Unless I am hanging on a cliff or something. You don't want to be banging somebody in a dream and then fall of the cliff.

I've done that. In real life or a dream you do not want to go over a cliff. Trust me.


There are ad free erotic podcasts. There are also the ones for sale after you get a sample listen. Sadly there is crud. For now, I'm staying on the public roads. I should mention that many of the erotic podcasts are sponsored by Adam and Eve. Nothing I can do about it except maybe fast forward.

Any more disclaimers? Yes. I am really more interested in the story and how sex facilitates telling the tale. Not really fond of the man-dang-bang kind of stories. Your taste will be different.

Where was I? Oh yeah. for our literary celebration of Masturbation Month 2012 I have found Spice, Romantic Stories of Love. This is also on iTunes which you now can do a web preview.


Sassy is the narrator. She does a good job but I think the stories are more for couples. There is a situation, a lot of description so that you have the set up in your head and then off to the races. There are about fifty stories and they don't run longer than 15 minutes.


I also found The Kiss Me Quick Erotic Podcast. This is a relatively new show but has got potential. Rose Caraway does the honors of writing and performing her work. Rose's podcast is also on iTunes. I did like her Succubus series specially episode #4 but the shorter work are a challenge for me.

I think if I was a guy I'd like them better. They are often written with a male point of view. Women can get off on a story written that way but I generally don't. Again, I do like long form storytelling so it is more me than her.

Okay that should help some of you get to sleep and you won't need a pill either.

Discovering The Little Death Podcast

The crickets have stopped for the night. Only a strangler or two put out last call. I am in-between sleep and being awake so I reach for my music player for something to put me back to sleep.

I'm looking for something different. I came to this podcast a little late but I'm intrigued with a murder mystery set in a future with different rules and beings.

I place the ear bud in and I am taken to the Sextel 69.

In honor of National Masturbation Month 2012 I'm seeking out female friendly erotic podcasts. This one is more literary story than wham bam and that is just the way I like it.

Sometimes.

This is Heat Flash Erotica's "The Little Death," by Helen E. H. Madden.

You Are Still A Young Man - Idiot!

I have to straddle a line between retaliation and just let it pass. I haven't told you the story yet. There is always a story. It is not apocryphal. It is tough out there in the brick and mortar world.

I was on the train. Young man and his friend enter the car as they start talking about girls. I have dubbed him Dumbstruck and his sidekick, Goofy.

So Dumbstruck was yacking on how he could not find any chicks. It was too early and the girls were not liquored up yet.  It was around 5pm so I could kinda see his dilemma. It was all I could do not to want to hit Dumbstruck upside the head.

Goofy co-sign with an understanding head bob to Dumbstruck's assessment of the situation.

Dumbstruck then continued conversing how he could find nothing but ugly women all day long. He had a need to find pretty girls.

I'm taking a quick look. The body seemed to be between 18-20 years of age. Rail skinny. Could not detect any form of rump on his behind. It looked to be all bone and not much of that. A strong draft beer in a tea cup could knock him down the street.

He wasn't ugly but I can't seen anybody rushing to lock lips on him. You couldn't do it anyway. The main feature was his mouth. Damn thing would not stop moving unless he was coming up for air. 

Goofy had a half pound more meat on his frame but his main attraction is that he doesn't say much.

Anyway, Dumbstruck goes on and on and on until a woman ask him "where he is getting off the train?' He responds "MacArthur Park."

She gets up and moves to the far end of the car.

Normal people might have taken that as a clue but Dumbstruck starts to harp on her that if she didn't like what he had to say "she shoulda put on her earphones". He rags on her for about three minutes about his right of freedom of speech and then goes back to his subject of choice.

Girls.

There are ugly women. There are old women.There are pretty girls.

These can be divided into the ones that will talk with you, the ones that won't (forget them, he told Goofy) and the ones that will do stuff. His job, as he sees it, is to locate that female objectified possessive noun and do what he wants.

Not his fault if they are stupid. 

You know just typing this I want to smack him for all the girl children on the planet. 

I didn't trust myself. I would have smacked him on behalf of the decent guys too.

I tried tuning him out. I had my mediation music. I'm trying to go to my happy place but Dumbstruck's voice carried louder than I could safely turn up the volume on my media player.

My understanding is that he was heading home to get ready to go to a party or series of parties where he could find and "do something" with some liquored up young girl.

Goofy was down widdit widdit. Non-verbally speaking.

Now, maybe it is me. I haven't been around a young man in a long time.  It is one thing to brag about your imaginary skills with the ladies.

It is another to announce to captive train audience that you need to have the object of your desire incapacitated before you can get anywhere.

I don't think you can be that drunk to let Dumbstruck touch you let alone "do something"  but I don't know what the heck is going on with young folks now days.

Eggad, I've crossed over. 

All I know is that by the time the clowns got off the train I mentally turned in my imaginary cougar card. I was thinking about guys in the 30s or 40s but it would take 20 plus years to clean out the dreck in that kind of head. At that rate I'd be 75.

No. If they are making the current crop of young men that stupid, that selfish, hate based and penile directed then whomever wants that slab of bones can have him. And Goofy too.


As for me, I gotta find better headphones.

Lusting Tempos for National Poetry Month

It is National Poetry Month. I don't have to tell regular readers what May is but stock up on the lube just in case. Replace your worn out electronics and for your podcastical dilatation you might want to visit Erotica al la Carte.



It is Friday and it has been a long day. Need something to take the blah out of it. This poem is from Victoria McColley who has a blog at www.poetryauthoress.com.

I don't have anything profound to say. I have been drained by the week and I am looking forward to the L.A. Times Festival of Books so I can walk among the words and the people that carry them.

It is a pain to hike across town but it has been a nice couple of days since the heavy rains. I need to walk this yutz out of my system. It starts with a poem.

Programming School Dropout and Redemption

I've been avoiding telling folks this but it is time to come clean and start again. I am the beauty school dropout in Grease.



I hate quitting anything. Really, I can be guilty of hanging on for dear life until I get it done. Well, life snuck up on me and went booger-booger.

Strike 1. I was doing okay. I wrote my first program and thought my homework was done. What I failed to realize was there were a whole bunch of lessons underneath the first one. I catch that mistake two days before the first quiz and try to cram it down.

You can't do that with an intro Python programing class. I tried but it was painful.

Strike 2. My day job at the Salt Mine got crazy. I can't go into details but let me just say the widgets were asking questions of the whatsits and the whatsits were waiting on the doohickies and in the meantime salt is flowing all over the conveyer belt.

It was lunar baby, stuff was flying everywhere and all I had was a spoon.

Strike 3. I came home and tried again. I'm in Lesson two. I'm still learning vocabulary and programing at the same time. The dude shifted from vocabulary to concept and then from concept to implementation.

I was still on understanding the concepts when bango zoom he was talking about the rafinstinbonk.

It was over. I cured up in my bed, I knew I didn't have a flipping chance.

A Possibility for Redemption

A new session of the class is starting up on April 16th. I'm stubborn. I do not like not learning what I set out to learn. You don't get to be this old without picking up some life skills.

Boomer power baby!

I am gathering supportive tutorial materials:

Videos

Khan Academy has some programming videos:



I can watch or listen to these on my phone via YouTube.

Tutorials

One size does not fit all and I'm looking for re-enforcements.

• At Python.org there is a Beginner's Guide page for non-programmers to access tutorials and resources.
• There is another interactive tutorial at Learn Python.org.
• Python Turtle is for kids and those willing to think like one. There is no shame in my game. You download the software and the follow the instructions to learn concepts in order to move the turtle.
• Yes, there is a podcast for just about everything, this one is for young programmers so if I add the numbers my age I could be youngish.

What About Life?

I know. I could be setting myself up for a fall again. Salt is still shooting across the room but the flow is now in check for the time being. If I can get a better bead on the topic before the new session starts I'll sign up again.

If not, slow and steady will have to be my workflow. Monty would have wanted it that way.

(The programming language was named after Monty Python, which is nice to know but I still feel like a git.)

Testimony - It Gets Better Video from SFGMC

Not sure I should be writing about this video. I'm not gay. I am not a male. Don't even live in San Francisco. But when did that stop anybody from putting their two cents in matters that peripherally concern them.

I do know other human beings attempt to hurt another because they are different. Too small. Too large Talk funny.

I know the power of words that can hurt, of punching used as a right of passage and the emotional pain that can be soul crushing. Ask anyone that had been bullied as a child. It does not take much to bring up the memories.They know what I am talking about.

So I am very interested in the It Gets Better video series. If it stops one teen or pre-teen from doing themselves in it works for me.



This is a video by the San Francisco Gay Men's Chorus called Testimony.

It is only recently that I have slowly started talking about being bullied as a child.

It was bad.

Wait, there is no good form of being bullied.

I have since learned that other people had matches thrown on their hair or coats. Humiliated beyond measure with all kinds of stuff thrown on their bodes. And last, but not least, sanctioned shame.
Because if you tell some adults that you are indeed being victimized by a group of people most will tell you to "suck it up and get over it".

While you are standing in the middle of hell. You ask someone to help you and they are telling you to stand and continue to get burned. They say it is kid stuff. I am hear to tell you that kids can be vicious.

For me, I literally had to go ape shit crazy and beat someone up to get most of them off my back. It was a temporary solution. It wasn't in my nature but you hurt a person enough and one way or another they will find a solution.

Usually, a bad one. Suicide is a very bad solution. It doesn't matter who you are, it truly hurts those that are left behind.

I was a gentle person who learned to be defensive and non-trusting. "Suck it up" they say. The reality is that you never, ever get totally over it.

So, as a straight woman, as a person with a history that includes being bullied and as a fellow traveler on this road of life check I want to pass this video along to friends and acquaintances.

If you like the song and would like to own a legal copy then you can go to the Bandcamp page and download it. It would help the SFGMC chorus earn a little cash in the stash.

Some days are rough. Still, it gets better.

Lessons Part 2 - Learning That We Mirror Each Other

People are nosy. I am a people, therefore, I am nosy.

I try to control it but there are times when you just have to pay attention to other people’s business. I did not want to but I really had no choice.

Every once in a while I’ll buy a burrito from Chipotle.  I was standing in line and the person ordering before me put in her order for three burritos.

Like a drill sergeant she commanded what she wanted. Sarg wanted everything. She wanted extra of everything. Except for what she did not want.

I could see trouble coming.

When it came time to fold the burrito the laws of mass and space kicked in. The tortilla ripped a gash. Food started oozing like a scene from The Blob.

The server tried to move the heaping mass to another tortilla. Sarg became irate:

“That looks like garbage. Something you would feed a pig. I’m not a pig. Start over!”

I'm looking at Sarg.

No comment.

The food was thrown away. The server started again. Sarg told the server what she wanted extra again except for what she did not want.

I don’t know how it was possible but this time the burrito was constructed. Then the whole thing had to be done for the other two burritos she ordered.

My Turn

I was hungry. Yet a sense of culinary moderation flowed from within. I modified my order:

• Carne Asada
• No Beans
• Rice
• Corn
• Pepper/Onions
• Avocado

I bring it home and eat it. All of it. I am stuffed for the next four hours.

A few days later I watch the documentary Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead about this guy’s having a fruit and vegetable juicing fast as he interviews people across the country.



I don’t make it half way though the movie without swearing I’m gonna get a juicer.

I’ve checked out the high toned ones. They are very expensive. It will be awhile. In the meantime, I’m drinking water instead of soda and eating more veggies. Truth is, I am surrounded by temptation. And boredom. And other stuff too.  I’m stripping it away step by step.

My body agrees with making some kind of change. Sarg is still on my mind. I can’t seem to let that movie go until I do something. This is the back side of being nosy.
 
So, yeah. There are times when being silently, acutely observant of other people’s behavior is kinda sorta ok.

But not really.

Lessons We Need to Understand–Part 1

It has been a week of extremes. Excitement and disappointment. Sometimes it happens at the same time. I have facts but the interpretation of those facts I’m not sure I can do justice. I can tell you what I have seen and observed.

The ZeFrank Lessons

Once upon a time there was a web series called Le Show with ZeFrank. The two people below are not ZeFrank but part of the community at the time that participated in introducing the show. Roll that tape...


It was before Jon Stewart and Colbert and the show was a mix of whimsy, politics, audience collaboration and what ever can down the road. It lasted a year before Ze pulled the plug.

Last week Ze put out the word on Kickstarer that he wanted to resume the show and was looking for backers to fund it. He is going to, among other things, buy a new camera and hire an editor.

He asked for $50,000. Keep in mind that his show lasted only one year that ended in 2007. There were other sporadic appearances by Ze via Time Magazine and other places but folks had moved on.
As of this writing, Ze has $122,282 with four days to go in the campaign.

Ze has asked his backers what they would like to see in the new show. In full disclosure, I did chip in some cash which makes me a non-Hollywood fractional inconsequential non-power playing mogul.

• Most want him to do what he did before. Exactly the same things.
• Some want him to talk about religion.
• Others emphatically do not want him to talk about religion
• Those that want him to rip into the current political climate of yuck.
• Those that want a respite from the political climate of yuck and want him to make music or design or anything that is happening in the current world.
• And there is a fractional few that says “I trust you enough to let you go you way and see what you come up with.”

This is the creative community "put your money where your support is" type of participatory media. I keep telling folks that what we were raised up on is not how it is always going to be from this point forward.

There is events happening that we can’t continue to pretend it does not have an impact on our lives.  Like a broken record I keep saying this and I need to find a better way of communicating it or shut up.

I have it on good authority I can’t shut up.

Here is the thing. As traditional broadcasters look to restrict access to their content and at the same time create destination portals on the Internet we need to really step up independent content.
I don’t think it needs a Kickstarter campaign but you do what you got to do.  If you are good and people like what you do you will be supported.

We don’t have to be dependent on mainstream content. I’m not saying to totally give it up cuz that new Sherlock Holmes on the BBC has got a bunch of Baker Street Doxies going nuts.

I’ve moved to audio podcasting and video from non-traditional sources to replace television. I do watch traditional shows once in a while on the Internet but they do not fill my needs.

A new model is being established. ZeFrank is not the first person to do this; there are other producers who are doing the same things.We needs to pay attention.

That is all I’m saying.

Learn As If You Will Live Forever

Just learned about that quote. Once upon a time I had a fantasy about reading every book in a library. What I am saying, I still have that fantasy. Being open to new things and concepts is essential for me. I try not to let a day go by without learning something.

Anyway, I'm taking an on-line class on how to create a search engine. It is a basic introduction to a computer programing class. The students come from all over the world.

 So why would a 50+ something woman with a checkered arithmetic and math background take this class?

I'm brain starved. Learning helps keep me healthier. My day job doesn't do it for me and until I transition into something that does I need to diversify my skills.

I don't necessarily want to be a programmer but I do want to learn how to create different types of stuff that isn't being address by this current group of programmers.

I can't encourage women to take up tech if I won't step up and learn a bit for myself. I took a introductory class in the 1980s that was designed to weed out those of us that couldn't make heads or tails of the acronyms coming out of instructors mouth.

I wanted to learn but there was a techno - lingo barrier that the instructor felt we should have traverse from osmosis. Most of us got mercy C's in the class and my interest ended until the personal computer revolution.

So I take my fears and my curiosity and walk it down the hall to the frontier. I feel good about week 1 but who knows what I'll feel like in week 4.

Gotta try.

Trying to Understand Shamrock Socks in February 2012

I have no love for Valentine’s day. In this case, I mean I do not have any guy I’m going to be snuggling up to come February 14th. I am okay with that reality. At peace with the world. Tra, lah, trah, lah.

Okay, not not really.

It is Black History Month aka African American History and Heritage Month. The flag waving permissible issms are at a all time high and show no sign of dipping below the legal legal of sanity. The only grace I can take hold of is the the debates for the Republican contenders for the White House are taking the month off.

For the record, I am not associating the GOP contenders with Target.  The fact that the GOP contenders have tried to make people that look like me targets for their bile is beside the point.

And I do have one.

I was in Target. Target has black hair care products that I generally have to ride a bus three hours to get to a store that has the same stuff at a huge mark-up. I can get it $15 cheaper at Target.

Target has food, mostly processed food but the one near me has some fresh items. Target has clothes that fit potions of my body in a price range I can afford.

They have Valentine’s day stuff that is just about to go to half price. They have St. Patrick socks. Well, socks that have shamrocks on them.

I know what they don’t have. A decent affordable stand alone .mp3 player. A topic for another time. They also don’t have anything about celebrating African American History or Heritage Month. 

There are no banners. No placards. No streamers.  Not a balloon. Not fond of balloons anyway so that could be a plus.

I’m looking at those St. Patrick influenced socks and I am trying to figure out why are they putting the shamrock stuff out in February? I’m standing there internally scratching my head. 

Then it comes to me. Beer. 

On St. Patrick’s day everybody wears the green. Folks having no genealogical peeps from the island will be fixing corned beef and cabbage or at least reading about a heart healthy version in a magazine or newspaper.

There will be big parades that will be inclusive and exclusive. At least here in California. There will be beer drinking and some will even drink beer that is colored green.  Oh, and there will be green peppermint McFlurries and shamrocks on cookies.

You can sell St. Patrick’s day. 

You can’t exactly sell Black History Month. It is problematic.

If this was the 1970s you could move red, green and black socks.  It is not the 1970s anymore.  How about some “Remember the Dream” socks?  Well, perhaps not.

You could have posters in the stores with photos of historical ancestors but I’d be kinda worried which ancestor’s poster would wind up hanging in the toilet paper section.

Then you would have those folks that would complain. There is always somebody to complain but these particular people would complain that "there isn’t a White History Month so why should anybody recognize Black History Month?"

These same folks will be also be complaining through Women’s History Month, Latino/Hispano/Chicano/Mexicano Heritage Month and Asian and Pan Pacific Heritage Month. Some of those whiners will be debating again in March.

Really Not Picking on Target

We are told that everybody wants to wear the green for a day. Watch your local papers and advertising  circulars. A stereotypical green having nothing to do with living people to be sure but it is celebrated and sold with enthusiasm.

It involves food and beer and, well, that is about I know about the day.

Authentic Irish and Irish American history is fascinating, complex and is woven into the building of this nation. That isn’t what the commercial St. Patrick’s day is about but we do a strange form of let’s pretend.

Authentic African American history is fascinating, complex and is intractably woven into the building of the nation. It seems that folks would rather let the days go by.

Mikki Taylor Talks About Taking Risks

Just wanted to share this video with you. It is an interview with Mikki Taylor about how do you leave a 30 year gig and start again.



Yep. feel that 30 seconds of fear and then let it go. Trying to embed that in my brain.

There are two other videos of Mikki on Mediabistro TV's YouTube channel.

A Moment Inside of Old Navy

Old Navy has been good to me. It is one of the few stores that accommodates the back of my front. Once every other month I traps in and purchase from the clearance section. It is the least that I can do.

One day I was trying to decide between an electric green blouse or some stretchy pants when this young lady walked up to me and asked if I would take her Old Navy Gift card.

The woman was a 20 something. She was immaculately dressed. Hair, make up and contemporary cool clothing that did not come from Old Navy. I imagined this is a person that wakes up two hours early just to look arrange her equipment so that she can begin the process of being so crafted.

I said, "I'm a customer, not an employee."

She was a little pissed but kept the smile going.

"I know that, I got the card as a gift. I don't...I don't shop here." Here was pronounced as if she was trying to find a sweater in a cesspool.

I could tell, this woman read Vogue or something I flip through once every three years. She was in the devil's lair and she didn't like it.

"I don't understand what you..."

"Could you buy my card? It has $26 on it. We can go to the counter and verify that there is money on it."

I said, "No"

The immaculate one stomped away in a huff.

I will never be that artistically and fashion sculpted. I understand, A friend gave me a gift card for a tech store a few weeks ago and I had to work really hard to find something I could use.

Never occurred to me to asked some stranger in the store to buy my card.

I found out yesterday that in California if you have less than $10 on a card the store will give you the cash.

But you can't buy class.

Or fake it.

Layoffs and Musings on the Stoop

There are life events that are keeping me away from blogging. I don't like that because blogging has been good to me. Helps me stay on this side of sane. So many people are having troubles.

I know that other people's troubles can look worse than your own. In a way, that makes you feel better.

But there is a toxicity to sucking up too much bad stuff. Any bad stuff. What I can tell you is that a lot of my friends and acquaintances are losing their jobs.

My j.o.b. at the Salt mine is not looking that secure. It never was but there have been some rattlings that have me saying affirmations and gratitudes for what I have this day for I may not have it the next..

I'm not unemployed. I'm fine. No worries. Well yeah, but not that one as yet. 

I remember the last time I was long term unemployed. It was painful and dangerous. Nobody wants to live like a refuge in her own country but there is a point where you start to feel like you are not connected any more to normal life. Never in my life do I want to experience that again.

Never, ever, ever.

I remember that having fat assed politicians calling folks spoiled and lazy. Nothing has changed. You have people constantly questioning are you trying enough? Doing enough.

Some days that is a legitimate question because the last thing you want to do is face another day of not bringing home the prize. You have to find your way to your answer. At the same time trying to be open to good ideas and tuning out the less than helpful bromides that will be forced down your throat.

There are people who believe that you are on your own and you should just suck it up baby. No promises, guarantees or assistance.

To those people I say fuck you and I do not mean it in a pleasant, loving way either. You can have money in the bank and discretionary income one day and a fire, flood, windstorm or illness can take it all away. You are indeed sucking life up.

Yet some man or woman will stand on their faith or party line and tell the world you are a hippie, shiftless and not worth the time of day. I can hear their little minds going; "If only they could be like me so they would know how miserable they are."

If you are truly a so-called superior person you do not need to kick a person when they are down on his or her luck. You have the choice to help or not to help. There are times when you shouldn't provide assistance. 

But to kick and demean people on hard times? Nasty. And yes, your soul will rot in hell and I don't necessarily mean some distant place but in the core of your being where you know you are wrong.

I mention no names. Just saying. Let's stop making hate the unemployed a national sport.

Last night I was watching Liz Henry's tweets and retweets about Oakland and San Francisco Occupy protests that ended badly.

I couldn't watch people get beat again.

So for this Sunday what I have to offer is the one step, one breath at time thing.

Move forward a bit, breath.
Move forward a bit and look around that snatch another breath.
Repeat.

That is where I am. There are bigger things to worry about but the things that are close to home that call your name. That and Google Chrome keeps locking up on me.

Go On and Catch Some Tail for Yoda's Daddy

The man put up 93 million dollars of his own money to make an all black action movie? Or an action movie with a black cast? You can say this has my attention. In a few days, the movie Red Tails will open at the box office. A gentleman by the name of Mr. George Lucas has produced a movie that is inspired by the Tuskegee Airmen of World War 2.

As a rule, I do not like war movies, shoot em up bangs bangs or glorified murder. I do like a good story. I am 110% down with encoding our history into the collective but often forgetful memory of this nation.

This is a trailer of the movie: 



Mr. Lucus is a little concerned that if folks don't turn out for the flick than will put the kibosh on future multi-million dollar movies staring black folks with white actors in minor supporting roles.

This is a clip from the daily show where he talks about how studios told him they didn't know how to market the movie or that it would not do well internationally because other countries would not want to view "limited appeal" movie.



Dear Mr. Lucas, do not fret about blowing $93 million dollars. I think it is safe to say you are going to recoup that investment in about a 10 hours of the movie's release. Not to mention that as soon as a couple dozen grandmas get wind of the movie a couple thousand junebug grandsons are going to be dragged into the theaters.

But that isn't what the movie studios where talking about, is it? They said they didn't know how to market the movie so that white folks would want to go see it. 

Understandable myopia coming from that crowd.  Need new blood in Hollywood. Those vampire and zombie movies they keep making have drained what little sense they have about modern audiences. 

People will turn out for a good movie, period.

I got my calculator out on this one:

• Living WW2 war vets of any ethnicity $$$
• Living vets of any war who appreciate military history $$$
• Every living Tuskegee graduate $$$$$
• Military historians $$$$
• People who want to see their history on the screen $$$$$$
• Loyal Fanboys and Fangirls who want to get in on the ground floor of a possible new gaming world $ x infinity.

If it is good movie and some white folks can mentally cross that bridge then yeah, whoopie and good on ya. You have a hit.

But if it isn't then it will be okay too. The world will still turn. There are black movies being made and that will happen inside and outside of the current film industry. Looks like it will be outside because even if this is a block buster they will attribute it to Lucas skills as a filmmaker and promoter and not the film or subject matter.

The stories will be told with old tech or new tech. The days of traditional film making filters is coming to an end anyway.

So take a load off G. From the looks of it I don't think it will be flop. I stopped looking toward Hollywood for quality movies a long time ago. I might make an exception for this film but have no expectation of finding a good film to pay $12 for a long time.

Now in your next film if you could do a little something that celibates the slightly older but wiser women with some curves it would be greatly appreciated. If she happened to be driving a space ship that would be very cool too.

Broke Folks Eye Candy or Hold On A Little Longer

It is like having poison ivy on the back of you knee. I know that I have wailed about buying cheap stuff (Don't do it!) but there are exceptions.

Very limited exceptions. Before I prattle on check out this video from tech site, TheVerge.com, about another Android tablet from China.



When I was a teen I wanted with all of my heart a Nikon camera. I felt that I should have one because it was top of the line and my photos would be sooo much better if I had one. It would have meant that I was not as poor or broke as my reality dictated at the time.

I had to find a way to be connected to a community that I wanted to belong. One of the things that kept me going was reading photography magazines, the torn cover 25 cents versions that I could buy four for a dollar back in the day,

Photographers seem to do things like travel the world, eat strange food and do stuff. I was all for the doing of stuff.

I saved and earned money that eventually I bought a Yashica twin lens reflex that had a 35mm attachment so I could take 35mm snaps. I still have it.

I know my 21st century counterpart wants an iPad or a Galaxy Tab or something. He or she needs it for school, for work or creativity purposes.

This morning I found an Android draw/paint program called Sketchbook Mobile from Autodesk

If I had a craving for an tablet application like that and couldn't by a tablet that would make me obsessively crazy. Like I was about that Nikon.

Anyway, tablets from China and parts unknown are about to come in a bum rush for folks wallets.

Like the video said, the build quality isn't that good, the camera is wonky but sometimes broke folks that do their research before buying and understand that this is a training wheel  to the good stuff should consider buying something like this.

Because you don't want the itching to go away. I'm not saying buy just for the sake of wanting. That is not good and it waste money.

But the itching to know and explore, at any age should not be denied.

So I guess I'm saying if you have no money you can save up for the pride and joy hi-tone version. This would be preferred path

But if you truly can't afford to wait and you sniff out the best of the schlocky tablets then go for it. Get the best of the not so good and learn as much as you can.

Re-invention and Change - The White Hut

I needed down time. I have gotten up at 4 a.m. to write or cobble together items of interest for my blogs and others. I want to create and do things but I was force to realize that I need x amount of sleep and nutrition.

When one or both get out of balance I am not a happy camper.There is other stuff happening that I can't discuss but that life balance thing is kicking me into submission.  I got to find writing time that does not involve the pre-dawn hours.

This is a project I've been wanting to finish for chunk of time. I want to mix essays with video. This will not look that different from my other work but my goal today was to post a video.

The Whit Hut was a mom and pop restaurant in the Pasadena area. It closed in September 2011 and word has it that a new organic coffee house will be built. I'm sure that the new joint will not be serving up fat laced Pastrami on Rye. 


Part Two

I have to step back and think about what do I want to do. I want to re-claim a bit of my creative writing. I want to really get better working with video. I need a new career but I think what I want to do hasn't been invented yet so I have to pave my own path.

Not a bad idea but it can make a person nervous. Can you re-invent yourself again and again and again?

Yes. You can. It is not easy but I'd rather give it a go than to be among the walking dead.

That is not a zombie reference.

There are people that do the same thing day in and day out because it is safe. No deviation. No curiosity about what went before or what is to come. No hobbies. No vices.  No challenges. No goals.

Nothing. They live. The eat. They work. They sleep. It is enough for them.

Now if you are in any form of recovery and you aspire to this type of life go for it. I'm not talking about you. You have already lived a bit and you need routine and stability. Carry on and work your program.

For me, I want more. I want to access the untapped parts of my potential. I can't mess around, I'm coming up on another birthday in a few months and I want something to show for it.

I thought that 2011 was going to be a quiet year and that sucker did everything in its power to prove me wrong.  I might need a combat helmet for 2012.

Right now, it is a beautiful day and I have time for a nap, if I want one.