Talking on the phone was a challenge but I pushed out enough air to be heard. Then I did something stupid.
I was trying to talk loudly into the phone so that the other person could here my incredulity of the situation. In my defense, I was responding to a stupid situation.
I can't tell you what it was though. But I can make up an example.
Customer: I want to buy a Porterhouse steak.
Service Person: We just sell meat.
Customer: I know, I've been here before. I want to get a well marbled Porterhouse steak.
Service Person: We just sell meat. If you want some one to help you with your purchase you can make an appointment between 11:59 and 12:00 noon and someone might be able to help you.
Customer: You mean to tell me that you cannot open the case pull out the slab of meat that I want, weight it, wrap it and give it to me?
Service Person: I shouldn't even be wasting my time talking to you. I'm just the greeter.
I blew a vocal gasket. It hurts. After the call, what was an annoyance became a throbbing pain in the neck.
I got two glands expanding in size like golf balls inside of my neck.
I got a sore though that has yet to forgive me even though I have treated it to hot tea, Tam Yam soup, cold Ginger Ale and quite possibly a road trip for some un-authorized consumption of ice cream.
I feel like a failure.
I make time to listen to podcasts like Buddhist Geeks. I have meditation music. Breathing music. Other podcasts that tell me to take the heat out of the situation and be a living light of dispassion for good.
Dag Gummed It. I'm in Spiritual Special Ed once again.
Spiritual Special Ed can be faith based. Or not. It is more of a pang of recognition that you have been in this place before and you promised that from this point forward you would conduct yourself in a life positive affirming manner.
You make it out of SSE. You seem to be on the path. And then, when it is important, you forget what you know and go on anger and instinct before you can get near a reflective mode.
Naw, I'm not getting any ice cream. I don't deserve it and besides I don't think dairy is good for a combo cold/throat situation.
So that is my lesson for today. And from the feel of it tomorrow too.