They say that older women are ignored in America.That the societies focus is on the new and the long legged ample person who might be eighteen years old dripping wet. I still get that look from younger people in fear of I might talk to them.
At length.
Please. If I decided to talk to you it is either because I want to or have no choice in the matter. I was in the store the other day. I wanted to buy a microphone. The young person took me to the computer microphone section.
This is valid. I understand. This is a generation of Skype and social gaming.
I had to explain I needed the non-computer stand alone 3.5 mm or USB microphone.
In the explanation process I could see behind her eyeballs telling me to go away, I was messing with her flow. Then it clicked for her, "Oh, wait, yes we do have the other microphones."
The store was sold out.
It wasn't always this way. There wasn't necessarily this hostility in cross generational exchanges. If we are serious about telling our stories then we need to know the other.
This is Jude Narita. Long time theater actress and passionate about her craft. This is a moment from the Screen Adjustments panel at the Beyond The Bad and the Ugly summit that in March 2013.
Not every is new and there are people that know the path.
There are new ways of doing thing and not every old person is wise. This is why we have to share what we know so that we are clear on who we are and what we believe.
That cannot happen in isolation.
I'll be 52 this year. A full deck at last. I started becoming invisible at about 35. At first it was so subtle that I couldn't even figure out what was going on. I would wonder why people weren't acknowledging me. By 45, it was in full force. I can be standing at a counter and the person behind the counter will see everyone but me, even though I have been there longest.
ReplyDeleteNow I almost find it hilarious when a young man will flick his eyes across me. I can see him mark me off in his head "I'm not interested in having sex with her, so she does not exist." I wish I would have known, when I was 18, that was the real reason so many men paid attention to me. I wish someone would have told me that hard truth early, but they didn't.
It is both maddening and freeing. Sometimes I think "I could do ANYTHING and get away with it." That feels both good AND worrying. I could end up doing some crazy old lady stuff, you know?
I just hit double nickles aka 55. And yeah, we can. Then again, we can re-define aging lady stuff. Jude was a counter balance to a young panel.
DeleteShe brought up points they hadn't considered like there is no one way to present Asian American stories. How she has to research how a specific ethnic group feels about a situation.
So yeah, this isn't a downer kind of thing. We can use our powers of invisibility to subvert the system. Or improve it. Our choice.