Monday, July 30, 2012

Pulling Up the Big Girl Panties

In my heart, I love to travel. It is my head that gets in the way. I am supposed to be packing. Doing laundry. Confirming reservations.I am not doing these things.

I have 12 more hours and I've wasted time. I'll be fine. Once I've typed this out of my system.

Saturday I was in a department store. I turned the corner and saw these items for sale. None in my size. Not that I would wear Hello Kitty panties. I would not. Never. On this I swear.

Batgirl or Wonder Woman? Perhaps. Not that anyone has seen me naked lately but I'd have some explaining to do. Then again if I have to explain maybe the relationship is not meant to be. But if I was with a guy who wore Joker underwear I would be extremely concerned.

I am a hypocrite. And anyway, just because it was in the women's undies section who is to say those are Batgirl's panties? It could be the main Bat.  I don't want to wear Batman's underway. Love the guy but he is a little tense. Sticking with Batgirl.

I have the opportunity to see old friends. Meet new people. Learn things I do not know. Confirm that I am still here. The little kid would couldn't imaging this trip. The depressed adult that wasn't sure it was worth it to go on. The office drone that longs to bust out of the cubicle.

Here it is. This is the time. I can do this. It is okay. I can chose to eat alone or with people. I can introduce myself to the other. It has been a while since I've challenged myself.

I can do the best that I can and for god's sake not judge myself against other people. It messes with being present in the here and now.

I'm scared. In a good way.

So with this I'm pulling up the invisible big girl panties. All I need  now is a cape. Or some rocking boots.

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