Wednesday, June 20, 2012

When Worlds Intersect Is that A Good Thing?

I am a long time traditional comic book reader. Old school when ten cents got me the latest issue of Batman. I love libraries. Movies. Animation. Sex. Literacy. Reading, Creativity. And usually they are compartmentalize and each is in their own silo.

Sometimes there is an overlap. One or two intersections is okay but this...this is popping brain cells. Once upon a time eh, 1999,  there was a comic book called Birds of Prey. Later, there was a television show by that name. It didn't last long but I watched it.

No complaints. It had Shemar Moore.Why be greedy?

Soooo, I'm checking my Tweet stream and somehow wind up at Bleeding Cool where I see Birds of Prey XXX. A Parody.  This trailer is safe for work. Only words are exchanged and only one of them is heated. Can't trust that Huntress for nothing. She does drop a F-Bomb.

How? Why? Nooo!? Well, maybe. It is like the Star Trek Enterprise XXX parody. On the one hand is nothing sacred? On the other hand I have always had half a lobe to do Picard.

Which is wrong, wrong.

For the record, I have only seen the Star Trek Enterprise XXX trailer. It seems like they tried to be respectful. I have never seen any of the XXX parodies and don't think I am going to be able to for quite some time. Not high on the bucket list.

Back to the Birds of Prey. So they have Oracle in the wheelchair. Oracle is gonna get busy later and not just floating through Ethernet cables either. She is neither PC or Mac, Oracle's rig is custom built.

(Okay, quick recap on the back story: In an alternate dimension, Oracle is a later day Barbara Gordon who got the hell and the use of her legs beat out of her by The Joker. He might have done other things but that depends on the interpretation by the specific artist who wrote the book at the time.

I hate that guy. Straight up hate The Joker. Nothing funny about that damn clown.

Barbara, who was a librarian reclaim her mantle as crime fighting Information Mistress of the Digits. Then the other Birds of Prey, The Huntress and Black Canary, get to chase and capture villains and make Gotham or New Gotham a grand place to live. )

Hence, my dilemma. Oracle still a librarian fighting crime from a wheelchair (this is important for story continuity. Later on DC had Barbara walking again to resume being Batgirl. The Wheeled Sisters did not take kindly to the change).

Oracle is getting some non-combat action and it ain't with Richard Grayson. Double score. Except that she is bonking a detective in a nookie film. Let us not forget that her pop is Commissioner Gordon.

Why must I be tormented so?  I love Batman, I do. Iconic character.  But dig it, there are the comic books, the 1960s series, movies starting from the 1940s on up. Major props to the animated series. That isn't a typo. You have Batman, the Animated Series, The Brave and The Bold, The Batman, Batman Beyond not to mention all the action he's got in Justice League.

Batgirl has is third season appearances in the early 1960 Batman shows, the cancelled series and guest star shots as an adult in some of the animated series.

DC come on! This is the only full length live action movie with a super heroine. It is a movie that most people can only watch when the lights are low and the Two Buck Chuck is chilled.

So I have been told.

There should be a Black Canary animated movie. You can have Ollie (Green Arrow) in it but let the girl clear her pipes. I know you made a Wonder Woman animated movie that didn't make bizillons of dollars but I don't think you advertized the movie that well. I would have bought it if I could have found it at Target. Water over the bridge.

Dang it, forget that there are 14 to 18 year old boys for a moment. Girl people like action movies too. I am not against the action in the parody but you know what I am saying?.

What am I saying? I lost track.

I'll watch the trailer one more time just to cement that I saw it. It might be important one day. You never know. This isn't wrong. But it is just not right.

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