Saturday, September 10, 2011

Healing Spaces With Junk Mail

Many folks I know are practicing a media blackout until September 12, 2011. To the extent possible, I do not watch mainstream television and have just about given up on most broadcast news so most of the time I am out of the flow. I will be even more so on Sunday the 11th. I'm reading the book Water for Elephants instead.

I'm going through my junk mail. The PennySaver wants me to know that I can get a lap band if I want to invoke insurance verification.

I don't have PPO insurance. Don't want a lap band either.

Well, I would think about it if involved four men cradling me in their laps as they sung me to sleep. One guy to massage my feet. One man to rub my lower back, one fella for the shoulders and one songbird to sing in my ear.

That is a pleasing visualization. Let see what else I can salvage.

A satellite company want to give me the world and 225 channels for $34.99 including football. 

I can't read the block of fine print on the other side. I believe that is intentional on the vendor's part.  I can just about make out something like $135 if I don't do something in time or $20 per the remainder of the two year contract.

I'd feel bummed out but I don't watch free TV so why would I pay to watch infomercials and football?

Next ad is another lap band circular, this time telling me that freedom is losing the weight. No, freedom is a state of mind and my mind has the foot guy rubbing a bit on my ankles.

EZ Lube - yes I'm going there. No such thing. It is either goopy or runny and you can't just stick any old substance up the ying yang. You have to read the label to make sure it is compatible with your body.

I'm sad that I gotta think about such things but I have to be prepared for the future. What? I don't have a car. What else could I associate it with?

An insurance company wants to offer me affordable coverage. There is a huge honking apple on the paper. This remind me to tell you the fruit eating thing is working out. Mangos and strawberries work well but cherries are labor intensive.

The rest of the junk mail seems to be more of the same..
I place the papers into the recycle bin of life.

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