Sunday, September 20, 2009

The View From Here - Sourpuss in Action

There is a reason I generally don't post photos of myself. I have been asked. The truth of the matter is I am not photogenic. I give attitude when I am taking my own photo.

Then again, the camera may be recording exactly what it is seeing. I look like an over-aged petulant child. I was aiming for calm and serene.

I really was, being in the park mellows me out. I understand better why homeless bums have put the word out not to hit me up for cash first thing in the morning. There was one panhandler who did not get the memo.

To be clear, he demand I give him money. I refused.

He asked "Why Not?"

I responded "Why? What obligation do I have to give you money because you stand before me and demand it?" There were a couple of other words as well. I am not always calm and serene nor am I always sitting in the park.

I do not like aggressive panhandlers. I like opportunists even less. There is a circuit of opportunists that look like homeless people. Pull out your wallet at the start of the block and his friend might jump you at the end of the block.

So What is Sourpuss Trying to Tell You?

One thing is I don't have my glasses on so I'm trying to see you. I could put my glasses on but then you really would see Sourpuss in action. On the good side, it might cover up that one zit thing I've got going.

I don't wear makeup unless I really, really have to. Has more to do with very sensitive skin. I do have makeup. $90 worth that I bought drunk in San Francisco. And by drunk that would have been a glass of wine.

So yeah, I have makeup but I can't find the instructional DVD that tells me how to replicate my nature skin tone without using my natural skin but with magic dust instead.

Lemme see, yes I have hair. No I don't wear scarfs all the time but I do think I look better wearing them than not.

I need more sun. Need more neck too. I do have one. Otherwise, yeah. This is me. On this day. Not that I am counting down or anything. Just wanting to honor what I say to other people about acceptance and moving forward.

I accept who I am. That person evolves from day to day. I am content. Working on projects that interest me. Trying to extend beyond my comfort zone without worrying is this going to cost me a job or a relationship.

I'm tired of fronting an un-authentic self. Y'all can do what you like, I'm going to be more me. All of me. Honestly, I'm tired of postponing life (not that I do) based on what-ifs.

Those that know me know there is more to me than my face. Hell, there is much more to any person than their face.

Like the song says, take me as I am.


  1. You are a prize. Glad I found you, and look forward to reading back posts to catch up with where you are.

  2. Langston Hughes has a very short poem that I have always loved:
    "You got to take me as I am, black and don't give a damn."

    It's great to get to the point of life where you can just be who you are. This is one of your faces - the pouty, squinty, can't see, perhaps a little bedraggled one. You are blessed that you are indeed still attractive in that face as much as any other.