Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Prelude Letter To My Body - Part Three

I read the news today. Oh boy. There was an article about a visit author talking to middle school students about the long term effect of being a bully.

The author's name is Jodee Blanco. I like the fact that she has a tip page for students and for adult survivors of school bullies. You can listen to an interview at Eye On Books.

I read that article and I teared up on the bus. Every time I hear some teenager whacking a portion of his class I clench up. I don't in any way condone it. But I understand it to the core of my being. School is not necessarily a safe place. And now with the Internet there are a lot more cyber bullies, take a look.

If you are in any way "different" you get targeted. Consistently. Relentlessly. Physically. Emotionally. School is the place where we learn to conform and if the little darlings have a internal measuring gizmo that tells them you are the "other" your school life is toast.

I read the article and I flashed back. How did I survive that? I had a fight almost everyday in elementary school if I didn't manage to out run the bully of the day. It changed to verbal when I got to Junior High. Jodee gives good advice but I did tell adults what was happening to me.

"It's kid stuff, you have to learn to work it out." Sometimes it is kid stuff. And sometimes it is sadistic. Yes, I learned to fight back. I learned to suck it up. And I learned not to trust anyone unless absolutely necessary. My life got better when I went to high school in another part of town.

So if my future self could talk to my younger self I'd tell her to knock a certain SOB to the concrete sooner rather than later. And to open a bank account and pop quarters in it so I could have been a millionaire by now.

Downer huh? Not really. See I needed those PF Flyers. I needed safe places. I found resources that helped me stay sane. And I know a lot more good people than bad.

This is certainly not what I planned to write about but it feels right. Dissolving the old demons one by one.


  1. My heart goes out to the young you. But you know, whatever difficulties you suffered through during your younger years, those experiences are part of the person you are now. Sometimes a rough childhood makes us better and stronger.

  2. I'm good. I was surprised that I reacted to the news story. It was a looong time ago.

    My inner child is ok, we are going to go out to play this weekend and I slip her a bit of chocolate every now and then.