Monday, June 25, 2007

Automatons at the L.A. Convention Center

Here is where vlogging get to be problematic. I recorded video of a silicon doll. She is not real. But she is anatomically correct except for the size 40 rack on her frame which I'm figuring is creative license by the designers or one of her selling points.

And people were touching her, er it, the automaton. And I don't think Leloo (that is her name) liked some of the ways she was being touched.

No this isn't clear. Let me try again.

So I'm walking around the convention center looking for straight women tools and technology for the unattached and under serviced. Now this is tricky stuff cuz I had to be mindful of navigation.

Men folk will come to a dead stop for a dancing partially clad woman. It was amazing. Not only will they come to a dead stop and snap photos but other dudes, fearful that they might be missing something good will dive into the black hole, not knowing what is on the other side.

And like entropy, a mass builds and then chaos destroys it (the dance ends) and they go their separate ways until the next dancer makes happy with the pole. As a female person you don't want to be standing in the middle of a crowd of men watching a show girl slinging hash.

Not that they will pay one whit of attention to you. I don't want to imply it was not safe. I'm just saying there was a collective rise in temperature and testosterone that needed to be respected.

So I'm cruising around the floor and I notice people are putting their camera's on a tripod and siting with a full size female doll. Non-vinyl. And from a distance without my glasses she looks, "real." Except she is not.

As I'm standing there are people walking up to a doll on the table. Some only touch her toes. A few give her leg a solid grip. A few women conducted a finger inspection of the lower area, both fore and aft. I wish to point out, they knew where to look.

The fellas, oh, my goodness. I can see first hand why some of you don't get a second chance after the first time at bat. You can't grab those 40's like you picking up a quart of motor oil. There were pinchers, slappers and clampers.

There were also massagers, (god bless 'em) smoothers and those gentlemen that took their time which is never a bad thing. Get the lay of the land and understand the territory.

I should show this to cultural anthropologists or something. Yeah, so where is the video?

I can't show it until I learn how to use the fuzz filter to block out faces. I don't have permission to show you the participants and it is not fair to them even though the event stated that by entering you give your consent to being recorded. When I get that figured out I will post it.

If you want to know more about the next evolution of non-human acquired companionship (and you have $4,900) You should go here.


  1. OMG! How horrific...or is it?

    I love your mind and your humor.

  2. Sure does creep me out. I like real life hugs.

  3. I love real hugs, too. But hey, if this is what you want you ain't harming no one else so good luck to you. Just not my shtick.

  4. I'd love a "silent partner" they are just so damn expensive !