Thursday, December 11, 2008

White Gold and the Calcium Twins on the Finally Friday Freakout

I was very concerned. Late at night I’d wake up thinking about comedians who was trying to find something to work with after the election. I had sympathy for all the political junkies on the left, center, right and those forever on the fringe who were going into detox and it wasn’t going well.

Sure the automakers kept them busy but they were use to a high level of juice, if you know what I mean. Governor Palin did what she could with the pardon of one turkey as the ones behind her were beheaded. It helped but it wasn’t enough.  Even the one last effort to invalidate the citizenship of the President-Elect didn’t even get the need abated. It was only mumbled as a hope forever dashed in a day. (Yeah!)

Then, one day in December, came a man from the great state of Illinois, a man who united the people and caused them to utter in unison, “Naw, you are kidding right?” Americans invoked the coast to coast collective gasp of “Damn, for real?”

Yes, Governor Blagojevich you were the dream anointed to those of us that wanted to aspire to our higher natures but spent precious time reading 76 pages of pure industrial strength politicking not seen in almost 30 some years.

Sir, I ain’t hating on you. You got enough trouble on your plate. Karma didn’t come to visit. It snuck up on you in the shower and said “pow-dow!”

For you and your hair, mainly for your hair cuz I’m still working my way through the criminal complaint, I had to find a special video. One that really captured what I believe is the core of your motivation.  The essence of narcissism put to good use, mainly for your benefit.  It all comes back to the hair. 

So I present to a country re-united temporarily in befuddlement of stupidity so profound it cant be measured on a normality scale, courtesy of the California Milk Producers Board. White Gold and the Calcium Twins in their powerful rendition of “Is it Me, or Do You Love My Hair?

A Wee Bit of Explaining To My Overseas Friends

Many states have public relations and advocacy boards for state produced food products. One of the most successful campaigns was the one produced for California Raisins because the more you liked the singing raisins the more likely you would pick up a box or two from the market.

This is a video produced by the California Milk Producers Board to subtly or proudly (I’m not really sure) the virtues of drinking milk in order to have long beautiful ash gold healthy hair.

I'm gonna have get back to you on that one cuz me and the Calcium Twins, well yeah. Oh, wait, I get it. Healthy hair, no matter its birth orientation. Yeah, that's it.  There is a series of commercials (advertisements) that have run on television for the past couple of months based on a mythical rock star who gets his glory from the wonders of drinking milk. It is assumed that it is milk made in California but what the heck.

Anyway, I just thought it was a bunch of quirky commercials. No, no, no. There are actual music videos about the adventures of White Gold and the Calcium Twins. There is also a web site a virtual wonderland of milk and White Gold. Talk about your interactivity.  It is also an example of social networking on a corporate level and an opportunity to observe the many avenues to partake of the cow juice.


The night before the news broke about the Rodster, I saw the complete video of Is it Me or Do You Love My Hair? I felt surreal. Changed. Mystified of what I had witnessed. The next day I was getting the Blagojevich story from Bus TV, Elevator TV, newspapers, radio and the Internet.

I was sucking it up like milk and Lorna Dunes cookies. I like Lorna Dune cookies dunked in milk, I use to anyway.  And then I understood the joining of the ying and the yang. It was by a golden thread. Now I could have gone with Heavy D with Mr. Big Stuff, Jean Knight with Mr. Big Stuff  or Peter Gabriel with Big Time Peter was almost perfect. At the end of the day this was not a time of understatement. I needed a man with maximum hair attitude to get the job done.

Enjoy and please know that we are better than this throwback to backroom politics. Also those with milk allergies or choose not to ingest the stuff I do understand and respect your position.  If the spirit is willing laugh, cuz in the end it is a healing thing to do.

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