Forgive me for my sins. It is has been a while since my last post. I am slowly (by choice) ramping up to speed. Life is a balance until you do something stupid and then it get all out of balance and you have to clean up the mess. This is my confession. Er. This is my testimony.
For the record, I'm not Catholic. Or Baptist. I could hang with the Atheists except I do believe in a higher power. Ok, I am a second class heathen when it suits me. In other words, I am unaffiliated and proud of it.
It started as I looked into the refrigerator. There was food. I bought it but hadn't finished it from two or three weeks back. The voices of my frugal grandmothers were whispering in my ear "You aren't going to throw that out are you?"
Memories of lack played ring around the rosy. Eating oatmeal 24/7. Bean, beans and nothing but beans. I look at a wrapped bowl of Tomato sauce with meat.
I took a taste. Seemed ok. I smelled. It smelled ok. I heated it up. I scorched the pan to make sure it was good and hot.
No. That is not the truth. I was on the computer and forgot it was on the stove and when I smelled I burned another pan I raced into the kitchen to saved what I could.
I ate it. It was good. Until 10:35 that night. I will spare you the details but this was an "on the hour" type lesson. Ralphing my way into the special education version of "I shouldn't have done it, I'm sooo stupid, Never, ever again..." Recycle, repeat.
But in the mist of one of my porcelain ascensions I heard a voice say "Stop with the internal battery, Be kind to yourself!" Kinda hard to do as you are hugging the throne of limited expectations.
But I did manage to substitute "OM" and a deep breath for a monkey mind gone mad. There was a lot of OMing in-between the Ralphing.
So here is the thing I want to share with you. Toss out the old food in the fridge! It is ok. Next time you will do better and plan what you need. But I'm telling you - send it to the land fill.
Oh, one other thing. I did not ask Spirit to take away the food poisoning.
I asked that it comes full force and let me experience what I needed to learn and process. It is my way of understanding Acceptance. After hour five I had to accept my path to hurl was set and I need not fight it anymore. It made hours six, seven and eight easier to deal with.
This is a spiritual as I can get on this day. Take it or leave it. I'm not as evolved as I wanna be so I know I'm going to do a few more return trips on the planet before I get the hang of it. But what I do know I'm hugging on to for dear life.